When Shadows Fade
by The Stationmistress
Summary: Kid faces ghosts from his past


TITLE: When Shadows Fade

AUTHOR: The Stationmistress

FEEDBACK: Louandkid@aol.com

COMMENTS: There's a bit of violence in this story and I'm not referring to the usual description of shoot-em-'ups. You have been warned.

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: The Young Riders don't belong to the author, but to MGM/UA Television, Ed Spielman and Josh Kane. No copyright infringement intended.

When Shadows Fade 

By THE STATIONMISTRESS

PROLOGUE

MANASSAS, VIRGINIA 1852

Nothing about the night spoke of the horrors it would later witness. Silence reigned as it did since the beginning of time, the peace occasionally broken by the weak chirping and ticking of sleepy birds and busy bugs. The moon, in its eternal ritual, rose high above the mountains, and bathed the plains with its silver gray light. In a small clearing in the woods not far from the house, two small boys giggled quietly as they played with their marbles...

"Your ma will be worried when she finds you gone." With a flick of his forefinger, the boy sent his marble barreling towards the ones neatly aligned near the hole. He nearly shouted in glee when all the marbles fell one after the other into the hole.

The other boy tugged at his curly, russet-colored hair, annoyed at losing two of his marbles. He shot his older friend a mischievous, conspiratorial glance. "Nah, she ain't gonna know. I put pillows in my bed like my brother does when he sneaks out and takes a dip at the creek."

"That's clever."

"Yeah, Jed's clever. You know he--" The boy stopped in mid-sentence and turned to look suspiciously at the woods behind him. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" his companion absent-mindedly asked as he flicked another marble towards the hole.

"I thought I heard something..."

"A rat?"

The younger boy rolled his eyes at his friend and got ready for his turn at the marbles. He already lost five of the shiny ones, three more than he could afford to lose and he wanted them back. He crouched down and tucked his forefinger under his thumb, already lost in the game, forgetting the sounds he thought he heard.

In the barn, the horses stirred, sensing the approaching danger. From the hills beyond, tiny specks of light began to appear and the rumbling of thunder could be heard...

One of the boys looked up. "I think it's going to rain."

The other boy, however, noted the absence of dark clouds that usually preceded a storm. But the thunder only grew louder and louder. Fearfully, he turned to look once again at the woods behind him and froze at what he saw...

Behind him, the shadowy figures of men in horseback began to emerge, five...twelve... twenty, no! Twenty-five men in black masks, most carrying torches, all carrying guns. Acting on instinct, the younger boy jerked his friend behind some shrubs, the thick foliage and the darkness effectively shielding them from the horses and the men which thundered past.

From their hiding place, the two boys watched in shock as the men went directly towards the barns, freeing the horses from their stalls. After some of the men led the animals away from the barn, a man who seems to be the leader, without the slightest hint of hesitation, pitched his torch onto a pile of hay. It was immediately engulfed in flames, the fire kissing the walls of the buildings, beckoning their surrender.

Shots rang out from the house, drawing the attention and the ire of the masked attackers. With one thought, half of the riders turned towards the modest one-level house and began to fire back.

One of the boys started to run for the house, but his friend immediately stopped him, pulling him back in the relative safety of the shrubs. For long, torturous minutes the stricken kid watched in horror as the men continued their assault on his family's house, stopping only to reload, firing again and again and again.

Satisfied that no one could have survived the hail of bullets, the leader instructed three of his men to go in. They did and found an old man dead, his body riddled with lead. Beside him lay the bodies of his two sons. Stifled cries and whimpers prompted the three men to check out the rooms at the back of the house. Inside the last room, under a huge bed, lay two terrified figures. Carelessly, a young woman and a little girl of three were dragged out of the house. The mother, seeing her dead husband and her father, ran to their sides screaming, wailing.

With all the fear, the outrage he felt, the boy -- who has seen the bodies of his grandfather, father and uncle dragged before him -- pulled free from his friend's grasp.

"No, Pete." The words came out in a hoarse whisper. Kid watched helplessly as his friend ran towards his mother and sister. He wanted to cry out, but fear froze the words in his throat when he saw one of the men draw his gun and fire at the small running figure. Pete was dead even before he reached his mother's embrace.

His evil work done, the leader signaled his men to gather and prepare to leave the scene of their crime. The leader -- who hasn't spoken a word during the entire time -- now let out a maniacal laugh as he led the escape. Kid's ears perked up. There is something familiar about that laugh. But all thoughts fled his mind when the big black horse carrying the leader suddenly stopped in front of the bush where Kid was hiding. Kid felt his heart skip a beat. From behind the leaves Kid watched as the man looked down at one little marble peeking from the shrub. The blood drained from Kid's face and he shut his eyes tight, praying for a fast, painless death.

It did not come.

When he opened his eyes, the man had disappeared into the night....

*****

CHAPTER ONE

SWEETWATER, NEBRASKA TERRITORY 1867

"Pete, no. God! PEEEEETE!"

Loud cries pierced the stillness of the night. Outside, the horses in the barn responded to the wail of distress with snickers and grunts of their own. Even nature called back with a rolling of the clouds and a faint, distant rumble. Lou woke up with a start, instinctively reaching for her robe when she realized that the scream came from the figure laying beside her. Kid was thrashing his head, mumbling in his sleep. "No, don't go. NO!"

"Kid," Lou rolled over and cradled her husband in her arms, trying to soothe him. Immediately, she noticed the beads of sweat dotting his forehead. Kid's body was cold and clammy to her touch. "It's all right. I'm here. Shhhhhh. I'm here."

Slowly, Kid opened his eyes.

"Hey." Lou smiled gently at her husband, brushing the damp locks off his forehead. "You okay?"

Kid nodded but didn't move away from Lou. Silently, he moved his arms so he could wrap them around her, burying his face in her bosom.

"What did you dream about?"

Still trembling at the images indelibly imprinted in his mind, Kid realized he couldn't share the horrors of his nightmare with her. "I don't... I don't remember," he lied.

Lou frowned and was about to respond when another loud cry -- this time coming from the nursery -- disturbed the relative peace of the night.

"I'll get her. Go back to sleep," Kid said shakily, as he dropped a quick kiss on her shoulder left bare by the thin straps of her nightgown. Lou watched as her husband got out of bed, the light from the moon briefly tracing the ripple of muscles in his chest as he shrugged into his robe with some difficulty.

With a lamp, Kid finally made his way towards the nursery where their one-year-old daughter was airing her lungs out.

Lou knew the precise moment Kid reached Mary Lou's crib. The cries were immediately replaced with gurgles, for as soon as the infant saw her father she stopped her pitiful wailing. It had become some sort of a nightly ritual for him to make these nocturnal visits. Kid would feign dismay at being roused in the middle of the night and "scold" Mary Lou for waking them up. At the same time he would listen to his daughter's happy babble, basking in the warm feeling of the child's unconditional love. After making sure she wasn't wet, he would take her out of the crib. With the baby's head comfortably snuggled in that hollow space between the neck and the collarbone and one of her hands wrapped tightly around his neck, Kid would sit on the chair and quietly rock Mary Lou back to sleep.

It usually took Kid just a few minutes to settle Mary Lou back in her crib, but tonight it was taking him a while longer. Lou listened for the creak of the rocking chair, but heard none. The only sound was the increasing rumble of the coming storm. She decided to check on her husband and her children.

On the way to the nursery, Lou passed by James' room. The five year-old was sleeping deeply, drooling on one side of his mouth. When Lou tried to wipe his cheek with the edge of her robe, James let out a muffled yet decidedly irritated sound. Just like his Uncle Jimmy, Lou thought. Not for the first time, she sent a silent prayer to the heavens that her son inherit his father's control and not his namesake's volatile temper. Lou stepped out of James' room and felt her way along the wall to the nursery.

The baby was already in her crib, sleeping on her stomach with a thumb stuck in her rosebud mouth. Kid, on the other hand, was sitting in the dark, staring intently at the wall.

"Kid?"

The word broke Kid out of his reverie and he turned to see his wife watching from the door. Holding out his hand, Kid beckoned Lou to him. She came to him, skillfully avoiding the multitude of toys which littered the floor of their nursery. She smiled as she narrowly avoided stubbing her toe on the train set Jimmy sent James two Christmases ago. Though Jimmy and Cody were far away, they never forgot to send presents to the children on Christmas and their birthdays. When Mary Lou was born, a buckboard full of presents arrived for both the new child and her older brother. It never ceased to amaze her how busy men leading exciting lives -- at least according to newspapers and dime novels -- could think of two children they've never even met.

He is probably thinking of them now, Lou thought as she settled herself on her husband's lap. Those friends of theirs and the reason why they were coming home after going on their separate ways six years ago.

"Kid?" Lou whispered. When he didn't respond, she lifted her head, her eyes scanning her husband's troubled face, her hands smoothing the frown on his brow. ""What's wrong?" She caught a flash of something unidentifiable in his eyes. Fear? Desperation? Guilt?

"Teaspoon...?"

Kid did not respond. He couldn't even if he wanted to. How could he tell Lou that until she mentioned Teaspoon he had forgotten all about their ailing friend. That his mind was consumed by the memory of that horrible night years ago, the gory images forever etched in his mind. Instead, he caught Lou's hand and pressed a kiss on her palm, her sweet scent soothing his grated nerves.

"Will the boys be here in time, do you think? Lou asked.

Long, torturous seconds passed before Lou heard Kid sigh, "I ain't sure, Lou," he said huskily. "I just ain't sure."

*****

At dawn, Lou watched as Kid and Katie galloped out of the barn, past the wooden gate like bats out of hell. Within minutes, rider and horse were out of her sight, the settling dust the only sign that they even passed through. Lou stayed by the window, her forehead pressed to the pane. Her breath fogged up the glass, but she didn't move. Somehow it made sense that her view was muddled. Her thoughts certainly were.

Kid was hurting but he wouldn't tell her why. Lou knew that in that sweet, yet infuriating way of his, he was protecting her by being silent, by refusing to share his burden. At first, Lou thought he was feeling guilty over Teaspoon's injuries but instinct told her it was more than that. And then there were the nightmares... of a man named Pete. Kid always called out the name although he wouldn't tell her who Pete was.

She didn't know how long she stayed like that, but the second time she looked up, she was blinded by the sun's glare. With a deep sigh, Lou finally backed away from the window, letting the curtain she was holding out of the way fall back in place. Pulling her nightgown over her head, Lou changed into her work clothes -- a man's shirt and pants. She made the bed and cleaned the room. All the while her thoughts remained on her troubled husband and the events that began two weeks ago:

"What 'yah got there, Grampa?"

Teaspoon lowered the letter he was reading to see James at the other end of the table looking at him wide-eyed curiosity. The little boy had been following him like a puppy since he got a message an hour ago.

"A letter from a friend," he replied.

Seeing an opening in the conversation and in his grandfather's attention, James rushed across the room and clambered up Teaspoon's leg, settling in his lap with deft ease.

"Anyone we know?" a voice asked.

Teaspoon looked up to see Kid hanging his hat on the wall. "Well, you've heard me mention him. Marshall Jack O'Reilley."

"Oh yeah," Kid nodded in recognition. "Didn't he capture Calder's gang?"

"Yep, me and him were Texas Rangers together." Teaspoon dropped his gaze to the little boy sitting on his lap and found James sucking his thumb. Knowing Lou discouraged that, Teaspoon tugged at James's hand and the thumb came out with a pop. Hugging the giggling boy, Teaspoon continued, "Jack left the Texas Rangers, said he was getting married. But it seems the wife wasn't enough to occupy him." Teaspoon winked at the Kid who smiled dutifully at Teaspoon's attempt at levity. "Anyway, he took up marshaling and he been catching bad guys ever since."

"What's the letter about?"

"What letter?" Lou asked as she walked into the dining room. She had been preparing dinner and was now carrying a large serving bowl of beef stew. Kid crossed the room to give his wife a quick kiss on the lips.

"This one," Teaspoon said, waving the sheets of paper. "It's from Marshall O'Reilley. He's asking me to help him out with this gang which has been giving them trouble."

"Which gang, Teaspoon?" Lou asked.

Teaspoon cleared his throat before answering, "The Black Raiders."

Since her arm was around the Kid's waist, Lou felt him stiffen at Teaspoon's words. Worriedly, she looked up just in time see all the blood drain out of Kid's face. "What is it, Kid?" Lou whispered.

Kid forced himself to forget the gory images that assaulted him and focused on his wife. "Huh? Oh... nothing... I just..." he began but never finished.

Teaspoon watched the whispered exchange with more than a little concern and interest. "Have you heard of the Black Raiders, Kid?"

"Uh, yeah. People talked about them when I was growing up in Virginia." Kid moved to the table and sat on his chair on Teaspoon's right. James wriggled out of Teaspoon's grasp to sit next to his father.

"Yes, people do talk. They done a lot of things. All evil. Some folks say it's the devil himself and his legions. And many agree."

"What do you mean?" Lou asked as she sat opposite the Kid.

"They've killed scores of people. Most of the time, needlessly. Their primary goal is to steal. Though killing seems to be a prize in its own."

"Why has no one caught them?"

Teaspoon's voice dropped to an even more serious tone, "These raiders, no one has really seen them. They are like ghosts. Those who are unfortunate enough to get a glimpse of them, never see the light of day again."

"Reason enough for you not to go," Kid said quietly.

Both Lou and Teaspoon looked up at Kid's words, surprised that he should say that. "Son, you know I can't NOT go. O'Reilley wouldn't ask if he didn't need to. This, "Teaspoon held up the note, "this here just means he needs it more."

Lou let out a deep sigh as she recalled how Teaspoon rode out the next morning... alone. She was more than happy to have her husband at the ranch rather than chasing dangerous criminals but she often wondered why Kid didn't offer to ride with Teaspoon. It was unusual because Kid, sometimes serving as a deputy, always went with Teaspoon especially in cases like this. Much as she would like to know the reason, though, Lou never asked the Kid. Somehow, she knew the reason was tied to the nightmares Kid began having the night Teaspoon received O'Reilley's message.

After making sure her one-year-old daughter didn't need changing or feeding, Lou went down stairs to check on Teaspoon.

He and O'Reilley's posse returned last week, greatly diminished in number. O'Reilley caught up with the Black Raiders but the price for his small success was great. The criminals allowed the posse to follow them to their camp and effectively turned the tables when a score of men emerged from the shadows and joined the raiders. Only five men escaped, among them was a badly wounded Teaspoon. He was shot once in the thigh, and twice on his left upper arm severing something clear through that the doctor thought of cutting the arm off. Kid would not allow it, though, and threatened poor Doc Williams with bodily harm if he even touched his saw. A bullet also grazed Teaspoon's temple, a head injury serious enough to keep him from waking up. It has been seven days and still no change.

Lou and Kid decided it was time to call the family home.

Six years had passed since Lou and Kid, Jimmy, Buck and Cody stood on the front porch of the Pony Express way station in Rock Creek and said their good-byes to each other. The completion of the transcontinental telegraph line in October 1861 marked the end of an era in communications and the birth of a new one. The riders -- once regarded as heroes of the country --found themselves without a job. Everyone except Cody, who signed up with the Army as a full-time scout.

Jimmy returned to Kansas to follow his father's footsteps and fight on the side of the abolitionists. Newlyweds Kid and Lou found themselves facing not the bright future they anticipated but a bleak one -- without jobs, without a home and caught in the middle of a war. Long torturous days passed before Kid finally chose to make new memories with his new family rather than fight for the ones he already has...

Then the letter from Emma and Sam came. The older couple congratulated Kid and Lou on their union and apologized for missing the momentous occasion three months before. Emma and Sam were supposed to visit Rock Creek to witness Kid and Lou's wedding but trouble had already started down by the borders, and Sam, being the Territorial Marshall, had to stay behind and help the Army. Random outbursts of fighting in the territory also prevented Emma from taking the stage and making the trip herself.

The letter which was sent through Army couriers -- the only kind of riders, aside from gunrunners, who were pounding the trails in those days. Inside the sealed envelope was Sam and Emma's gift and the answer to Kid and Lou's questions about the future-- the deed to Emma's place in Sweetwater...Apparently, Emma never sold the place. Teaspoon took care of the house, the land and the station when Emma married Sam Cain and left town. When he and the riders left for Rock Creek, Teaspoon leased the house to a young couple who had since moved to California to seek their fortune in gold.

With their ready-made family -- Kid and Lou picked up Lou's siblings Teresa and Jeremiah from the orphanage in St. Jo on their way to Sweetwater -- the couple began their new life. Since the only job both of them knew involved horses, they decided to raise them. Kid and Lou invited Buck, Rachel and Teaspoon to stay with them, but Rachel -- saying the newlyweds needed their privacy -- chose to keep her teaching job and stay in Rock Creek. Teaspoon also decided to stay behind as Rock Creek's Marshall. Buck later followed Kid and Lou to Sweetwater and stayed, helping them set up their ranch.

While the country was still obsessed with finding gold in California, the Sweetwater family began working on their ranch. Starting with no more than five horses -- Katy, Lightning and three more horses Kid and Lou bought using all their savings -- and a lot of bone-breaking, hard work, they began their business. Some improvements here, a little branching out there and three years later K&L began to make a name for itself one of the most prestigious ranches in the territory.

Then one night, after four years of relative peace, the call came. Buck woke to the sound of galloping horses. When he came out of the bunkhouse, all he could see was the dust kicked up by the departing riders. Hanging on one of the corral's posts was a round tablet with a drawing similar to the one Ike and Kid found in a burned down way station several years ago. His brother, the Kiowa war chief Red Bear, was calling for him. The next day, Buck packed his belongings, then kissed Lou and James. In silence, Buck and Kid hugged each other -- blood brothers they may not be, but brothers nonetheless. Then the gentle Indian swung onto his horse and galloped away. They never heard from him again...

A year later, Teaspoon returned to Sweetwater. No explanation was given for his arrival and none was asked. When Sweetwater's marshall died in a gunbattle, Teaspoon did what he did for Sam Cain several years ago... he stepped in. With a family, grandkids to dote on and a job, Teaspoon was perfectly happy and content... until the Black Raiders.

CHAPTER TWO

The ranch bustled with activity as the cock's crow signaled the beginning of a new day. Many of the ranch hands were busy repairing the slight damage caused by the storm last night. Frightened by the thunder and the sound of the heavy rains, some of the horses kicked the doors of their stalls. Though none broke down, the wooden doors were badly splintered, posing danger to humans and animals alike.

Kid -- back from his pre-dawn run -- replaced some slats on the wall while James kept him company with his constant chatter. The little boy diligently chose nails of the same sizes from the oversized box beside him and handed them to his father. Kid was hammering the last slat in place when he heard a buckboard ride up.

"Hey Tommy!"

"Kid!" the young man called back. Tommy Salinger and his wife owned the mercantile in town.

"What brings you here this early?" Kid asked as he shook hands with the newcomer. James tugged at the pants of the nice man who gave him candy everytime he and his parents dropped by the store in town. Tommy greeted the boy by mussing his hair.

"Just passing by on my way back from Blue Creek."

Kid smiled as he eyed the quantity of stuff on the buckboard. There were cans of beans and molasses, strips of jerky and covered in butcher's paper, thick slabs of meat. He indicated the goods with a nod. "This is more than what you usually get," he observed.

"There was some trouble in Rock Creek and the marshall said the danger might move down to Blue Creek."

"What do you mean?" Kid asked quickly, concerned about Rachel Dunne.

"Looks like the Black Raiders struck again. Attacked a ranch on the outskirts of town. Killed an older man, his two sons and his wife. Only the granddaughter was spared and the little girl is stricken. No one should have seen what that little girl saw. Marshall says the bodies were full of lead."

Splinters of gruesome images flashed across Kid's eyes -- Inert bodies. A river of blood. A burning barn. A bullet-riddled house.

The lifeless eyes of a childhood friend.

"Hey, are you all right?" Tom asked, his brows furrowed with concern over his friend whose face has suddenly drained of color.

Kid mentally shook his head, fighting to bring himself back to the present. "Uh yeah, I just remembered an old friend, is all," he replied, assuring Tommy with a slight smile.

Suddenly, aware of his son's wide-eyed fascination with the gory story, Kid shoved James towards his foreman and with a nod of his head, indicated that the boy be taken elsewhere. When James was gone, Kid turned back towards Tommy.

"Outskirts of town? You don't mean Old Ben's Place, do you?"

"You know, I think that's what the marshall said. Old Ben. Yeah, that's it. You know him, Kid?"

"Uh, yeah. We traded horses with him when we were riding for the Express."

"Well, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news."

"What did the marshall say? Are they any closer to getting the Black Raiders?"

Tommy let out a disgusted snort, "Those guys wearing badges don't know nothing about capturing these murderers. They had a better chance when Teaspoon was leading them. How is the marshall, by the way?"

"He hasn't waken up."

"I'm sorry to hear."

Kid shook his head at his friend, "Quit apologizing, you did nothing."

"Well, somebody did and they should pay for it. Folks say Sweetwater will be next, if those raiders aren't stopped."

"Well, we'll worry about that when it comes. If it comes. I think we're pretty safe out here," Kid said, though his heart froze at the thought of the Black Raiders coming near his family.

"I bet that's what Old Ben thought."

*****

Lou looked up from the bacon she was frying to see her husband standing on the doorway.

"Was that Tommy I saw outside? Why didn't you invite him in?"

"He was in a bit of a hurry to get home to his wife."

"But not her cooking, I imagine," Lou said with a sly smile as she transferred the strips of bacon onto a plate.

Kid pinched his wife lightly at the waist. "Just because you haven't burned a strip of bacon in a month doesn't mean you're an expert," he murmured into her ear.

"Hey!" Lou swatted Kid's wandering hand and walked towards the pantry to get a couple more eggs. "My bacon strips are perfectly crisp."

Kid smiled as he picked up Marylou from crib and sat down at the head of the table. The baby immediately began gurgling and blowing raspberries at her father. When Lou passed by, she automatically wiped the little girl's drool with her apron. "You were talking for quite a while. What did he say?"

"Who?" Kid asked absentmindedly as he made faces at the baby.

"Tommy."

Kid debated whether to tell Lou about Tommy's news. He had already kept so much from her, and the deception has left him feeling very guilty. But telling her about Rock Creek would only lead to more questions, questions he was not ready to answer. "Just some town gossip."

"What?"

"Nothing much," he responded evasively. Kid stood up and placed Marylou back in her crib. "Look, I need to check something. Be right back," he said, as he left the house, leaving a bewildered Lou behind.

*****

The sun was setting, spreading its yellow, orange and red glow on the plains and the mountains beyond. Kid watched as Phantom, the horse borne by Katy, galloped around the corral, the other horses shying away from him. Not more than two months, the colt is already showing the grace and stamina of her mother. Behind him, the ranch bustled with activity. Horses were being fed, some were being walked. But Kid was oblivious to the magnificence of the young horse and to the energy of the place, his mind on the conversation with Sweetwater's mayor earlier in the day.

After breakfast, he went into town to see if there were any telegrams or letters from their friends. He wasn't sure Jimmy or Cody received any of the messages he sent. Using every means available to them -- telegraph, mail, even strangers -- he and Lou tried to contact Jimmy, Cody, Rachel, Amanda, Sam and Emma. Jimmy was quite difficult to find despite accounts on various newspapers which chronicled his exploits. Kid sent a message to Abilene where Amanda and Teaspoon's saloon was also located, hoping Amanda O'Connell has seen their infamous friend. Cody, on the other hand, was easy to keep track of. The flamboyant cowboy attracted attention wherever he goes. Lou knew Rachel and Emma's addresses for she corresponded with the two older women regularly. It was Buck who proved to be elusive. After he left, they never heard from him again. They heard and read reports that the Kiowa were forced into reservations but all the messages they sent to those wretched places came back. The only proof Lou and Kid had that their Indian friend was alive were the small, unique toys Buck sent James every Christmas.

Kid was just leaving the telegraph office when he was spotted by the mayor.

"Kid," the mayor called from across the street.

"Yes, Mr. Jenkins?"

The mayor waited for a buckboard to pass before he moved to Kid's side. "I know this is not the time or place to discuss this, son, but I really need to talk to you."

Kid looked around and spotted the saloon. "You want to go in there?"

"Much to noisy. Somewhere where we could talk...in private."

Again, Kid looked around and this time he saw Barnett outside the Marshall's Office. "How about there?"

With a smile, the mayor indicated his approval. "Perfect." As they walked towards the office, the mayor asked after Lou, the children and Teaspoon.

"My wife is fine, quite busy these days because several of our horses are giving birth..." the Kid said.

The mayor noticed that Kid neglected to say how Teaspoon was. "And our old friend, Mr. Hunter?"

Kid took a deep breath before responding, "Doc says he'll be fine. Just need him to rest for a while."

Perfect opening, the mayor thought to himself as he and the Kid stepped into the Marshall's Office, nodding to Barnett on the way in. "We'd like to use your office for a while, Hamilton, if that's all right with you..."

"Sure," came the short reply. Barnett folded the paper he was reading and walked out the door. The mayor seated himself behind the marshal's table, as Kid settled on a chair nearby.

"What I wanted to talk to you about Kid concerns you and Teaspoon," Jenkins began. "A small property in Rock Creek was hit by the Raiders. Four people were killed, leaving one very small child orphan."

"We've heard about that. I'm sorry about what happened, sir. I truly am, but I don't see how it could have anything to do with me," Kid said rather defensively. "With Teaspoon, yes, because he is the law, but not with me..."

"Was the law..." the mayor interrupted.

"What?"

"Kid, we need a new Marshall. We can't wait for Teaspoon to wake up."

"But he will wake up," Kid insisted. "Doc said it'll be any day now."

The mayor skeptically raised his eyebrow in response.

Kid looked out of the window and with a tilt of his head, indicated the lawman on the sidewalk. "Well, how about Barnett? He is the deputy," Kid said with dryly.

The mayor narrowed his eyes at Kid, "Son, I hope you are pulling my leg..."the mayor said sternly. "The fact is we need someone who knows the territory, who keeps a cool head under pressure and who is quick with the gun."

"Well, you have a lot of men here who possess those kinds of qualities. Why don't you ask them? How about Brody, Cole, Garett..."

"Good men," the mayor cut in, "and they would make great deputies but not marshalls."

"There has to be someone else..."

"There's no one, Kid. And we really need someone right now. They already hit Rock Creek. All the towns are in a panic," the mayor said urgently.

Kid stood up abruptly, nearly knocking his chair backwards. He walked to the window and stood there for several moments before speaking up. "Ask the army for help."

"The nearest fort is a hundred miles away. And the route is dangerous."

"I'll ride," Kid offered immediately, turning around to look at the mayor. The trail was dangerous but he had ridden it a thousand times when he was a rider for the Pony Express. He knew the territory like the back of his hand.

"It's no use. The army has all but given up on catching the raiders." At Kid's questioning looking, the mayor added, "Oh, they are sending some soldiers. Wet behind the ears. They'll be the first to fall in a gunfight. The fact remains, it's our fight."

"I'm a rancher not a gunfighter," Kid insisted.

"Experience is not required."

Kid narrowed his eyes at the mayor for his flippancy before walking back to the window. "I have a wife and four kids to take care of as well as a sick friend."

Jenkins studied the young man. He remembered when Kid was still a rider for the Pony Express and they lived in the bunkhouse on the outskirts of town. He, Jenkins, was an associate of the bank then. Though Hickok appeared to be the group's leader, leading the gunfight with his blazing guns, Jenkins knew it was Kid who pulled the riders together. He hoped Kid would change his mind and help pull the town together.

"I understand what you are saying, Kid. But think about what I said. There might not be a town or a home to defend if you don't help us. If you don't do it for us, do it for Teaspoon."

*****

ABILENE, KANSAS

James Butler Hickok woke up with a loud pounding inside his head and the insistent high-pitched buzzing of a bee. Cautiously, he tried to open his eye to figure out what was going on but for some reason his eyelid didn't want to obey him. After counting from one to ten, Hickok tried the other eye. Nothing. The sudden thought that he went blind popped in his mind and he almost cried out. His frustrated scream, however, died on his throat in a croak. He tried to wet his lips with his tongue but that itself became a chore. His tongue felt oversized, gravely and as dry as the trails of Texas.

Don't panic, he told himself, try it one more time. The third attempt proved to be successful. Gingerly moving his head, Hickok noticed that he wasn't alone in the bed. There was a woman with him and from what he saw -- which was quite a lot -- she was naked. He tried to remember her name but nothing came to him.

Then the pounding came again and Jimmy groaned. It felt like a thousand little men with tiny hammers decided to camp inside his head and build a railroad crisscrossing his skull. He wanted them to go away and even told them so but since he mumbled his order, he didn't think they heard him.

The pounding became louder and Hickok finally realized that it was coming from outside the door, as were the voices he earlier mistook for a bee.

"JIMMY! COME OUT HERE!"

"Ma'am, I cannot allow you to do this. You are disrupting the peace and bothering my client..."

"DISRUPTING THE PEACE?" a woman indignantly asked. "I'll do a lot more than disrupt your peace if you don't get me Jimmy Hickok."

"Miss, I told you, Mr. Hickok left explicit instructions not to be bothered when he retired for the night."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll see me and hear what I have to say," the woman said confidently.

The man was saved from answering by the opening of the door. Jimmy leaned on the doorway looking disgustingly drunk, half naked, his britches not even fastened. He squinted his eyes to see who had the gall to wake him up.

"Amanda!" Jimmy said with surprise. Cautiously looking up and down the hallway of the cathouse, he asked, "How did you find me?"

"With a great deal of difficulty," Amanda said as she pushed Jimmy inside his room, shutting the door on the face of the man outside. She threw a careless glance at the sleeping woman in bed before marching towards the dresser. Amanda was ready to give the younger man hell but she figured he wouldn't understand her in his inebriated state. Better wait until he could fully appreciate her lecture. Walking past Hickok, Amanda picked up his saddlebag and the shirt that was carelessly thrown on the floor. "Here," she said, all but throwing the items at Jimmy. "I'm taking you to my house."

*****

Amanda silently watched as Jimmy drank another cup of coffee. She didn't stop giving him the bitter brew until she was sure she had all the whiskey flushed out of his system. She didn't want to admit it but she felt maternal towards Jimmy though only a few years separated them. It probably has something to do with Jimmy's bond with Amanda O'Connell's "father" Teaspoon. Amanda remembered when she first met the hot-tempered young man in Sweetwater. Even then Jimmy already had a reputation as a fearsome gunfighter.

"Trying to save me, Mandy?"

Amanda looked up to see the object of her thoughts staring at her, one eyebrow raised in question. "Hell no. Why would I want to do that. I can't save myself let alone somebody else," she said easily, her lips curving in awry smile. Amanda stood up to fetch more coffee but Hickok held her hand, shaking his head.

"Before you drown me in coffee, you'd better tell me why you dragged me out of there."

With a deep sigh, Amanda pulled out a letter from her skirt pocket and handed it to Jimmy. "This came yesterday. I'm pretty sure Kid sent you one, too.

"A letter from Kid?," Jimmy whispered as he read the message. Amanda watched as a multitude of emotions flashed across Jimmy's eyes.

"Teaspoon was shot and Kid says he hasn't regained consciousness in a weekdays. They've started to call everybody -- you, me, Cody. Even Emma and Sam," she said, her voice growing husky with unshed tears. "If you leave now, you'll be in Sweetwater in less than a fortnight."

"What about you?"

"I need to take care of some things. I'll follow later."

*****

A cacophony of noise and smell assaulted Jimmy's senses as he stepped into the saloon. Men of various shapes and size, attitude and temperament filled the smoky hall. Many were gathered around the gaming tables, deeply involved in card games, while those who weren't playing poker were equally involved in the luscious girls. A couple of greenhorns began chattering excitedly as soon as Hickok walked in, but most of the regulars of the saloon knew Jimmy and generally ignored him. After nodding absentmindedly to the bartender, Jimmy walked up the stairs to the room he kept for himself. He always stayed in the same room during his visits to Abilene, although he had a standing invitation from Amanda for him to stay at her place. Jimmy never accepted the invitation, preferring to establish a place of his own, although it was just a dank and musty hotel room. He loved Amanda like a sister, but hell would freeze over before he would let her cramp his style.

But when Jimmy entered the room, independence was the farthest thing from his mind.

HE WAS GOING HOME!

The thought filled him with dread and elation, the same feeling he got everytime he receives a letter from Lou and the Kid asking him to come and visit with them. He badly wanted to say yes, but always ended up chickening out. And he knew it was taking the coward's way out -- making excuses, laying the blame for his absence on situations, people... Hell, even the weather.

But he couldn't go home. It would feel too much like that story Teaspoon used to read from the bible -- the prodigal son.

Jimmy crossed towards the dresser on the other side of the room. After pulling out the bottom shelf, he slid his hand under one of his shirts until he felt the familiar coldness of a bottle. Wrapping his slender hands on the neck, he pulled the brandy out from it's hiding place. The amber liquid swirled around inside the bottle, tantalizing Jimmy with the promise of heat and comfort. He succumbed to that call and poured himself a healthy dose before settling himself on a chair. Methodically, he drank glass after glass of the fiery liquid, hoping, praying to numb his senses so he won't have to think of his imminent return to his "family."

The brandy proved to be traitorous, though. As the alcohol worked to deaden his senses, Jimmy found himself unable to stop remembering the last time he saw Teaspoon.

Bitter and disillusioned after Noah's death, he had began to seriously think of going back to Kansas and joining the abolitionists. He had suspected that the other riders thought he was doing so only to be with Rosemary.

But it wasn't just that at all.

He had firmly believed in what he fought for then, an individual's right to freedom. No man had a right to take possession of another man. Teaspoon and Kid had assured him that they believed in the same thing. However, the issue of slavery had been a mere cog in the wheels of war. Despite their protests and vows of eternal friendships, Teaspoon, Kid and Jimmy had found themselves standing on opposite sides. In joining the abolitionists, Jimmy had irrevocably aligned himself with the North.

Kid had been furious when he learned that Jimmy joined the abolitionists, but he had understood Jimmy's need to fight for what is right. In the end, they had bidden each other good-bye and good luck.

Teaspoon had been another matter. He had uttered no words but his demeanor spoke of the bitter fury raging inside him. His silence had not been broken, not even on the day that Jimmy left the Express station and rode away for the last time.

Jimmy pressed the glass against his lips and tossed his head, feeling the liquid burn his throat and settle into the pit of his stomach. It did nothing to vanquish the chill that run down his spine as he recalled Teaspoon's stoic expression as he bid him farewell. The memory had Jimmy's hands tightening on the telegram Kid sent.

"Come home. Teaspoon is badly hurt. He needs you."

It was an invitation he couldn't refuse.

CHAPTER THREE

KANSAS

Louisa Frederici hummed as she hung a shirt on the clothesline. From out of nowhere, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist. She was about to scream when she heard her husband's voice.

"Miss me?"

"You were never around for me to miss." Louisa meant it as a joke, but it came out like a complaint.

Cody sighed and dropped his hands from Louisa's waist. "Don't start with that, Isa," he said.

Louisa watched guiltily as her husband made his way towards their house. She didn't mean to hurt Cody but they've been married for a year, and all the time they've been together don't even amount to a month. She finished her hanging chore, gathered her washing tubs, then went inside the house. When she entered the living room, she found Cody sitting in his favorite chair by the fireplace, cleaning his favorite rifle. To make amends, Louisa dropped a kiss on her husband's lips. "You must be hungry. What do you want for dinner?"

"Whatever is there," came the unenthusiastic reply.

Not allowing herself to be disheartened, Louisa went straight to the kitchen to fix Cody's favorite pot roast. As she passed by one of the side tables, she noticed the letter which had been lying there for two days.

"Honey? You've got a letter here. It's from Sweetwater."

Cody jumped out of his chair and nearly ran towards the table. "It's from Kid," Cody said, as he read the short note.

Quite familiar with the names of her husband's Pony Express friends, Louisa asked with concern, "What does he say?"

"Teaspoon is hurt," Cody answers quietly.

"I'll pack our bags," Louisa said, dinner already forgotten.

"No, I'll go alone. It will be much faster."

Ignoring her husband's callous words, Louisa kept on going. No one will be left behind this time, Louisa told herself.

*****

Jimmy whistled softly as he entered the town of Sweetwater. Six years has brought many changes, indeed. Buildings as tall as four stories high loomed over him. Humor tugged at the corners of his mouth as he saw two cathouses on both sides of the road, scantily clad women lounging on the balcony, displaying their wares. They called and whistled at the men below, doing everything short of actually stripping to convince the cowboys to visit their place and not the competition.

A fight broke out in the saloon and Jimmy reined in his horse just in time to see a body fly out of the saloon doors. As he nudged his horse to a walk, Jimmy tried to search for familiar faces but only strangers stared back. Strangers with curious, questioning looks. Growing uncomfortable under the townsfolk's scrutiny, Jimmy spurred his horse towards the plains where the Pony Express station was once housed.

*****

"Hey, beautiful."

Lou started at the softly spoken words, nearly dropping the trowel she was using to loosen the soil in her small patch of a vegetable garden. Slowly she stood up and turned around until she came face to face with the speaker. Lou shielded her eyes from the sun's blinding glare for the man was standing against the light. A long black overcoat hung over his broad shoulders, his hands buried deep inside the pockets. The brim of his hat obscured his face. He had long hair which hung past his shoulders. There was something familiar about his manner, his stance. Then the man lifted his head, and Lou found herself staring at eyes as familiar as her own. "Jimmy," she breathed. Extending her hand, Lou tentatively touched the angular panes of his cheeks and smoothed the burrows on his forehead.

"I'm back," Jimmy said before wrapping his arms around her waist and swinging her around and around, both of them laughing and crying at the same time.

Finally, he put her down but kept his arms around her. As he looked down on her face, Jimmy realized that the years have treated her well. Happiness shone in her face. Maturity had given her a serene beauty, and childbirth gave her the extra curves she had been dreaming of. Her hair, which was cropped short during her years as a rider for the Pony Express, now hung in a French braid down her back. Though she was still wearing men's clothing, one thing was certain, no man in his right mind would mistake Louise for a man ever again.

Jimmy swallowed to get rid of the lump in his throat. "You are beautiful," he whispered with a smile. Lou's response was to plant a kiss on his cheek. Both turned abruptly when they heard something behind them move slightly.

"Mama?" a small voice called out hesitantly.

Jimmy released Lou from his embrace just in time to see a boy of five emerge from behind the bushes. Lou held out her hand to her son, "Come here and greet our guest," she said.

The boy shyly approached his mother and the stranger, his eyes never leaving the man in black. When he was within three feet of his mother, the little boy dashed behind Lou and hid. Jimmy chuckled at the boys antics.

"So, this is him."

"My little rascal," Lou lovingly rumpled the little boy's hair. "Say hello to Uncle Jimmy, James. He sent you that wonderful train set, remember?" The child refused to come out from behind his mother, though he mumbled a 'hi.' "He runs the Kid and Teaspoon ragged," Lou added.

Jimmy shifted his gaze from the boy to Lou at the sound of Teaspoon's name, "I rode here as fast as I could when I got your telegram. What happened?"

Lou's smile was replaced by a frown. "He was riding with a posse, going after a gang called the Black Raiders..."

"I've heard of them," Jimmy cut in.

"Who hasn't? They've been spreading terror for months now," Lou said gravely. "The posse caught up with some of them somewhere in Mill Creek. The raiders went down, but not before taking a lot of good lawmen with them. As it is, Teaspoon is lucky to be alive."

"How is he?"

Gravely, Lou shook her head. "Not good. He was shot several times... Nearly lost his arm. He moved a bit yesterday but..." Lou turned around to walk towards the house, "You can see for yourself."

Jimmy followed Lou. Though his mind was on his sick friend, he couldn't help but be amused by Kid and Lou's son. The boy was almost stumbling, but he stubbornly refused to let the stranger -- who hugged his mama -- out of his sight. Hooking a hand over Lou's belt, the young James allowed himself to be dragged back to the house.

"James," Lou said sternly. "You walk any crooked than this and it's your bottom, young man."

"Aw, Ma," the boy complained.

"Now, run along and tell your Pa we've got a guest for dinner," Lou ordered, prodding her son with a slight push. With one last glance at the man his ma called "Uncle Jimmy", James ran shouting for his pa.

"He's a good kid... Speaking of which, how's that husband of yours?" Jimmy asked. Something tugged at his heart when he saw Lou's face soften at the mention of her husband. He wouldn't admit it to anybody but himself, but he was envious of Kid's good fortune. Will a woman ever look that way when they mention my name, he thought?

"Bull-headed as ever," Lou said, giving Jimmy a sideways glance and flashing a mischievous grin. "A bit rattled by Teaspoon's condition though..." Lou's voice trailed off as she remembered Kid's sudden silences. Shaking her head to get rid of the thought, Lou turned to Jimmy and smiled. "But he'll be extremely happy to see you."

*****

"Papa, papa..."

Kid and several ranch hands looked up just in time to see James burst into the barn. "Whoa, whoa." Kid caught his son before he stepped on a cow pie. "What's the rush, James?"

"Papa, there's a big, big man. And he looks mean," the little boy said breathlessly.

"Where?" Kid asked, though he already made his way outside the barn, James and Jeremiah at his heels.

"With mama..."

Kid abruptly stopped when he saw the golden palomino tied on the hitching post. A slow smile crept on his face and he sprinted towards the house..."Jimmy..."

*****

Jimmy was cooing at Mary Lou when Kid entered the house. Jimmy had long since dispensed of his great overcoat and it was a pleasant surprise to see what was underneath. His days away from the Pony Express had given the young gunfighter a worldly look, a sophistication he certainly didn't have when his pounding the trails 7 times a week, 365 days a year in the employ of Russell, Majors and Waddell. Dressed in a white shirt with a silver brocade vest topping it and black pants, James Butler Hickok was the epitome of Western elegance. As Cody would say, Jimmy's got style.

"So, you finally met our youngest?"

Jimmy turned around to see his best friend leaning on the doorway. The smile on his face brightened. "Yep, and you're very lucky she took after Lou."

Laughing, Kid watched as Jimmy passed the baby to Teresa and then turnaround to walk to him with open arms. They hugged, long and solidly. The embrace was as welcoming as it was friendship-affirming. "Good to see yah again, Kid," he said huskily.

"You, too, Jimmy." Kid released Jimmy and looked him up and down. "Glad to see ya'll still in one piece."

"Oh believe me, I'm happy about that, too," Jimmy said with a wink as Kid laughed.

"Well, you two better wash up. Dinner is almost ready." Lou watched from the sidelines, not wanting to intrude on the two men's reunion. Though Kid and Jimmy almost always stood on opposite sides of any issue during their days at the Pony Express, no one could deny the bond between them.

"You cook, Lou?" Jimmy asked in mock surprise.

"Took her years to learn," Kid jokingly mumbled under his breath. "Good thing me and the kids have cast-iron stomachs."

Jimmy laughed as Lou shouted, "I heard that," from the kitchen.

The kitchen door opened and Jimmy looked up to see a lanky young man staring at him with interest. He came in with Kid and James, but because of all the greetings and hugs, Jimmy didn't notice him until now. "Hello there."

Jeremiah nodded his head in greeting, "Mister."

"Do you remember him, Jeremiah?" Kid asked.

The boy smiled. "You and the other guys helped when Lou came to take us back to the orphanage," he told Jimmy.

"Well, son, hopefully you'll see most of us again during the next few days. "Turning to Kid, "Have you heard from the others?"

Kid shook his head, "I sent a telegram to Cody but it seems he is in New York so it might take him awhile to get here. Buck... I don't know where he is or what he is doing. By the way, have you seen Teaspoon yet?"

The kitchen door opened again and Lou came out. She was followed by James who solemnly carried the bread basket to the table before climbing on his pa's leg, angling for a quick hug. "Jimmy kinda got sidetracked with Marylou," she said as she handed a bowl of soup to her husband. "Here's Teaspoon's dinner."

*****

Jimmy watched as Kid opened the door to Teaspoon's room and quietly stepped in. His friend placed the bowl of soup on the bedside table before going around the bed and picking up a small towel from the small stack on top of the dresser. After pouring some water into the basin, Kid wet the cloth and brought it with him to the bed. Sitting on the edge, he began unwrapping the bandage around Teaspoon's head.

"The doctor said the wound would heal much faster if it is uncovered, but to wait until it has closed before taking the bandage off," Kid told Jimmy without taking his eyes off Teaspoon.

Lightly tipping Teaspoon's head, Kid showed Jimmy the wound. One inch more to the left and it would blasted Teaspoon's temple. Jimmy shuddered at the thought.

"Teaspoon took a bullet on his upper thigh. It went through a fleshy part so it ain't a problem, really," Kid said as he stood up to get the bowl of soup. After placing another towel around Teaspoon's neck, carefully began spooning the broth into the older man's lips. "It's the wound on his head which is serious. Doc says it's just a graze, that it should be fine, but Teaspoon hasn't woke up yet since that night."

"Your doctor is a quack," Jimmy said through gritted teeth. "Why don't you get another one?"

"Unfortunately, he is the only doctor in these parts," Kid said. "Another one was supposed to arrive last month, but he never showed up."

"So, what has been done?"

"What do you mean, " Kid asked, his brow knitting into a frown.

"What's the law gonna do?"

Kid didn't answer. He finished feeding Teaspoon and dabbed his mouth and chin with the towel before standing up. As he tried to go out of the door, Jimmy touched his arm to stop him.

"They are out there looking, Jimmy. What else can be done?"

Jimmy's next question was interrupted by a shout from outside the house. "Rider coming!"

CHAPTER FOUR

The ranch hand's call had everybody in the house coming out to see the visitor. "It's Buck," Lou said with a mixture of wonder and happy surprise. No one ever saw the young Kiowa after he left the ranch about two years ago and all the letters Lou sent out were returned.

There was a lot of hugging and shoulder clapping as everybody, including the ranch hands, greeted the newcomer like a long-lost member of the family. And Buck is family. Jimmy watched as their Indian friend hugged Lou, then Kid. When Buck bent to pick James up, the young boy squealed and ran behind his mother. Buck, who helped care for James when he was just a babe, was unable to hide his confusion and hurt at the little boy's reaction. Seeing her friend's downcast expression, Lou patted Buck's hand, "Give him time. You've been gone long, he doesn't remember."

Buck smiled in understanding and turned around to greet the rest of the group. Jimmy was struck by the changes in Buck. The Kiowa wasn't wearing a hat and wore his hair much longer now with some of the locks arranged in braids, colorful feathers stood out against their ebony background. Buck wore his old vest but with no shirt underneath and his buckskin pants were tucked into moccasin boots. Though Buck never hid the fact that he was a child of both the white and red world, he never flaunted his Kiowa heritage either. Jimmy's eyes dropped to the knife that was strapped like a gun on Buck's left thigh and wondered what prompted his friend to move his weapon so near.

The difference in Buck's outward appearance was nothing to the subtle change in his demeanor. He seemed taller, more imposing. There was an air of alertness and danger about him that wasn't there when they all rode for the Pony Express. Like his namesake, Buck stood as if he was waiting for something to happen, for someone to strike from behind. Though raised as a warrior by the Kiowas, Buck always had an amiable nature. Cody called him the peacemaker. But that gentleness has now been replaced by caution. His gaze, though gentle as they rested on Lou, Kid and their children, was turbulent and wary. Jimmy gave Kid a quick glance to see if he also noticed the changes in Buck. Kid's thoughtful look assured Jimmy his friend also noticed Buck's transformation.

"Nice to see you alive, Jimmy," Buck said, his mouth twisting in a wry smile.

"Why do all of you say that?" he asked dryly, as he pulled Buck to him and clapped his back.

"Well, with that hot head of yours...." Buck drawled. Hickok shook the mentioned body part, while the others laughed.

"Did you get the letter I sent?" Lou interrupted as the laughter subsided.

"No."

"Then, how did you..."

"The spirits told me," Buck answered gently.

Kid, Lou and Jimmy smiled as they remembered what Buck's spirits did to an unbelieving Cody. Their friend was trampled by a horse and hit by lightning after he replaced the contents of Buck's medicine pouch with sand. The coincidence was too real to ignore. No one questioned the Indian's religious beliefs from then on.

"Did these spirits happen to mention when they thought Teaspoon would wake up?" Jimmy asked half-jokingly, half seriously.

"Let's go ask them."

*****

Jimmy rubbed his belly as he stepped out into the porch, the clatter of plates being stacked and spoons and forks being gathered followed him before he closed door. He settled himself on the swing and savored the satisfaction of eating a home-cooked meal. Lou's cooking sure has improved since her marriage to the Kid. Why, that pot roast she served was almost as good as the one Rachel served, Jimmy thought.

Rachel Dunne.

Jimmy smiled as he remembered the news Lou shared with him and Buck over dinner. Seems like Rachel was no longer going under the name Dunne. It's Mrs. Staulder now for the former housemother of the Pony Express boys... and girl. Apparently, Rachel never forgot the charms of the Russell, Majors and Waddell agent who stayed with them for a while.

To hear Lou say it, Rachel and Mike Staulder's reunion and subsequent marriage was the most romantic ever, but Jimmy saw enough of himself in Mike to know that he won't be tamed so easily. But then Rachel was woman enough to handle a wild one like Mike, Jimmy told himself. Wasn't she responsible for straightening the rowdy riders out?

Jimmy was jolted from his musings by the sudden realization that he wasn't alone. "Buck, you know better than to sneak up on me. I could have killed you," he scolded his friend.

"Sorry," Buck said as he sat on the swing and casually stretched his longlegs on the railing. His smile, when he looked at Jimmy, was unapologetic.

Jimmy sighed and settled once more on his side of the swing.

"So, what have you been up to, Buck?"

"Nothing much... You?"

Jimmy's lips twisted in a wry smile. Two can play this game, he thought. "The same."

No more words followed. For long moments, the two friends rocked the swing in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Then Buck stood up, took one of the lamps from a post and motioned for Jimmy to follow him.

"Where are we going?" Jimmy asked.

"Don't you want to see the ranch?"

"Well, yeah but can't we do it tomorrow when there's enough light?"

"Everybody will be very busy tomorrow. We'll just be in the way," Buck replied. Together, the two friends "explored" the ranch. Buck, who was more familiar with the layout after spending years on the place, led the little expedition.

The bunkhouse was expanded a bit to accommodate Paul, the Kid's foreman and Rose, his wife; their oldest daughter and their teenage sons. It was also painted and cleaned so now it looked like a decent bungalow. Buck waved Paul back to his rocking chair on the porch as the elderly foreman prepared to approach them. "We'll just have a look-see, Paul," Buck said.

"Very good, Mr. Buck," Paul nodded his head, his gaze wary as he looked at Jimmy. He still couldn't believe that the legendary Wild Bill Hickok was actually with them. Paul forcibly switched his attention back to Buck. "Uh, Mr. Buck... It's a great to have you back. Everybody missed you. My Rose, most of all."

Buck smiled at the older man, "Tell Rose I'll come visit with her tomorrow."

"She'd like that. Heavens, she'll have me shooting rabbits for your favorite stew tomorrow."

Buck laughed as he waved Paul goodnight, his mind already on Rose's wonderfully thick rabbit stew.

"They seem like nice people," Jimmy said, breaking into Buck's thoughts.

"They are. I don't think we could have survived without them," Buck said, his eyes distant as he remembered the first years on the ranch with fondness. "You're in for a treat tomorrow. Rose's rabbit stew has won prizes all over the county."

"I don't recall being invited," Jimmy said a bit churlishy.

Buck laughed and clapped Jimmy's back, "Give them time. It's not everyday the King of the Hill comes for a visit."

Jimmy's eyes widened when they turned a corner and he finally saw the ranch's spread. Two obviously new barns stood like vanguards of the plains. Buck opened the huge doors with some difficulty as Jimmy walked in to see more than 50 horses housed comfortably in clean stalls. As Jimmy petted some of the horses which nudged his pockets looking for sugar, Buck checked the well-equipped tack room and the impressively stocked feed shed. As they came out of the barn farthest from the house, Jimmy saw a little white cottage with blue-painted shutters.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Buck said as he fished a key from his pocket.

"You live here?" Jimmy followed Buck inside and looked around the small room but it was too dark to see anything. He jumped when he felt something crawl on his neck. Jimmy tried to brush whatever it was away, but got nothing. Buck stuck a match and lit the lamp on the surprisingly clean table. Jimmy looked up to see what seemed like odd-colored wood shaped into tiny fishes suspended from strings attached to the ceiling. Fascinated, Jimmy took one in his hands and turned it over. It was obviously done by inexperienced hands.

"Paul's kids made those for me," Buck said, answering Jimmy's unspoken query. "They said my house needed decoration."

"Must be nice to be so loved," Jimmy mumbled under his breath.

If Buck heard his friend's comment, he ignored it, choosing instead to light the stove and put on a pot of hot water for coffee. "Kid helped me build this. I didn't want to stay in the house, them being newlyweds at that time," Buck said, smiling mischievously.

Jimmy let out a snort of laughter, "Didn't want to barge in on their dancing, huh?"

"Figured it was safer this way."

Now that there was enough light Jimmy could see that the room -- for that was all it really was -- was sparsely furnished; a table and two chairs close to the hearth, a bed on one corner with a trunk beside it, presumably for clothes. There was a small bookcase opposite the bed and a dresser with a hazy mirror. The place was recently cleaned; the bedclothes, pillows and blankets new. Colorful vases of flowers were placed on the table and the dresser. Lou's idea, Jimmy thought. The same arrangements were found all over the main house. The room was pretty, Jimmy admitted, but it no way came near to his idea of a decent living.

"Don't they pay you enough?"

Buck shot Jimmy a quizzical glance. "What?"

"Kid and Lou. Don't they give you enough to get out of this dump?"

Buck let out a deep sigh and shook his head at his friend. "Not everyone goes for fancy houses."

Jimmy shrugged, but wouldn't let the topic of Buck's salary go. The ranch was obviously successful. He was curious as to how much Kid and Lou actually gave Buck... not that he was interested in working for them, too, he assured himself. "So, how much are we talking here?"

"Enough," Buck said. He knew what Jimmy was after and he was having too much fun to give it up yet.

"How much is enough?

"Better than what we got as riders," he answered dryly.

"Two hundred, three hundred?" Jimmy bobbed his eyebrows in a comic attempt to get Buck to confess. Before Buck could respond, they were interrupted by another voice.

"Two hundred what?" Kid stepped in, carrying a lamp of his own which he also placed on the table.

"Nothing... Where's Lou?," Jimmy interjected before Buck could answer.

"She's tucking James and Marylou to bed," Kid gave Jimmy a puzzled glance before looking at Buck for an explanation.

Giving Jimmy a sly smile, Buck answered, "Jimmy here was asking how much you paid me for work at the ranch?"

"Oh," Kid nodded understandingly. "Well, Buck doesn't really get paid," he told Jimmy.

"He's not?!" Jimmy barked incredulously, looking at Buck, then Kid for confirmation.

"No," Kid repeated, while Buck shook his head sheepishly. "He gets half of what we earn. You see, Buck owns half the ranch."

Chapter Five

Jimmy stared disbelievingly at his two friends. "Half of the ranch," he repeated incredulously. He looked at his friends in admiration and more than a little envy. "I got to tell you, boys, you've done good here. You've really done good," he said as he struck a match and lit a cheroot.

"We didn't think we'd make it work, though." Buck's eyes softened as he remembered the day he arrived in Sweetwater and found Lou and Kid hard at work at rebuilding everything. The house was barely livable, the bunkhouse was burned down, the original barn was missing three walls and one side and the wood fencing the corral was splintered. During the first couple of weeks, they camped in the clearing between the house and the bunkhouse. Day and night, they worked on the house. When the money for building materials ran out, he and Kid hired on for some odd jobs in town, while Lou tried to find a job as a seamstress. Buck chuckled at the memory of Lou's disastrous first day at work.

"What?" Jimmy nudged Buck with his foot, prompting him to share the funny recollection.

"I was thinking of the time Lou tried to become a seamstress," Buck smiled at Jimmy's lifted brow. "Kid, do you remember what happened to Mrs. Jenkins' dress?"

Kid's face clouded at the mention of Mrs. Jenkins, the memory of his conversation with the mayor several days ago flashing in his mind. He forced the incident out of his mind, but not before one of his friends noticed the dark look. "Lou got the measurements all wrong and sewed the buttons close. She stuck to horses after that."

Jimmy laughed dutifully at the account, but his mind was still on the troubled look he saw on Kid's face. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear the question directed at him. "What?"

"I asked what you've been doing for the past six years?" Kid told him.

Jimmy shrugged, "This and that."

"Care to elaborate?"

Jimmy nearly laughed, but he knew it would come out bitterly. "Not really," he said evasively. "All I can say is that I can't complain."

"Living the high life, eh?"

"Give me whiskey, cards and women anytime."

Buck started to smile at Jimmy's deceptively careless response, when Kid turned the tables on him. "How about you, Buck?"

All traces of mirth wiped out from his face, Buck held his friend's gaze for a long time before bowing his head.

"Red Bear is dead," Buck whispered hoarsely.

*****

The steam from the kettle began rattling the lid, breaking the silence that descended following Buck's statement. Buck stood up to make coffee. He needed to do something, to divert his attention from the memories that threatened to swallow him whole. Red Bear was the only member of Buck's family who acknowledged him after his mother died, the only one who really loved him and his passing has severed whatever remaining ties the young Indian had with his tribe... what remained of it.

"I'm so sorry, Buck," Kid said from behind. "I knew how much he meant to you."

Buck exhaled, slowly releasing his pent-up emotions and for the first time since his brother's death allowed himself to feel the hurt, the anger, the frustration... the guilt.

"I keep thinking I could have done something. That I could have saved him," he said, turning around to meet Kid's consoling gaze.

"How did he die?"

Buck turned towards Jimmy, then back at Kid. He badly wanted to tell his friends his story, but fear kept him from speaking. Maybe they won't understand. Maybe they would blame him just like his tribe members did.

"Buck, you can tell us. You know that," Kid prompted. Maybe it was his own guilt over what happened to Teaspoon that made him recognize the burden Buck was carrying.

Buck nodded slightly then turned around to finish making the coffee. "It's quite a long story. I don't know where to start," he began hesitatingly.

"Why don't you start when you left the ranch?" said Kid as he took the coffee away from Buck and motioned for him to sit down. Kid then handed Buck a steaming mug of the bitter brew, another one to Jimmy and one for himself.

Buck cupped his hands around the mug, trying to draw heat from it. With eyes staring blindly at the lamp, he began his story. The tribe had been moved to a reservation camp during the war. The chiefs were told by the army that they could go back to their land as soon as it was safe to do so. But the war passed and the army still hasn't let them go. The Kiowa tried to leave once but where promptly herded back like cattle. Red Bear tried to speak to the territorial governor but he couldn't get pass the army. Ignoring the other war chief's objections, Red Bear called for his half-brother.

"He hoped I could talk to the governor because I was half-White but of course, the army didn't see that," Buck said, bitterness creeping into his voice. "They only saw a dumb Injun."

"Why didn't you ask for Teaspoon's help? He knew Corliss Phelan," Jimmy interrupted.

"I did ask and Teaspoon tried, but Phelan insisted he couldn't do anything, that the orders came from Washington," Buck explained.

Kid put in, "It was happening all over the country. All the Indian tribes were being hauled off into reservations."

"Many of the warriors escaped but I stayed behind with Red Bear," Buck let out a mirthless laugh. "I thought we could, you know, catch up. Then one day last year, we were suddenly attacked by the soldiers which were supposed to protect us..."

"How? Why?" Jimmy pressed.

Buck dragged his hand across his face, as if trying to physically erase the painful memories of his brother's death. "I don't know," he answered wearily. The effort of telling the tormenting story is taking its toll on the young man. "The attack left no survivors on both sides, for us to ask."

"Then how--?" unable to finish his question, Jimmy simply shook his head.

"How did I survive?" Buck asked, his lips curling in an ugly, self-derisive smile. "Red Bear ordered me and Light Feather to keep the women and children safe. We rode out of that camp like bats out of hell."

Kid, understanding how guilt could eat at a person's soul, tried to console his friend, "You did what you have to, Buck. Ain't no one blaming you here. "Least of all me, he continued wordlessly.

*****

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead."

A curtain was pulled back and the morning sun seared Jimmy's closed eyelids. He scrunched his face and burrowed under his blanket to avoid the light, but Lou -- who is being an inconsiderate pest, Jimmy thought -- abruptly pulled the blanket off him. After several seconds of tug of war, Jimmy finally gave up the blanket and any attempts to return to sleep. He cautiously opened one eye to find a curious pair peering closely into his own. Pulling back, he saw Lou and Kid's eldest son looking at him like a snake coiled on top of a rock. Jimmy found the mixture of inquisitiveness and bravado quite funny but this chuckle turned into a groan when a shaft of bright light hit him squarely in the face.

"Jamie, sweetheart, tell Aunt Rose Uncle Jimmy will be ready for lunch," Lou said. When the boy didn't budge and continued to stare at Jimmy, she took hold of her son's collar and gently shoved him towards the door.

"Lunch?" Jimmy asked, confused. "What time is it anyways?"

"It's almost noon," Lou answered as she went about the room gathering the soiled clothes Jimmy carelessly dropped on the floor. "Everybody has been up for hours."

"Kid and Buck?"

"Kid went to town with Paul to buy supplies. Buck and the other boys are out on the corral trying to break a new horse."

Jimmy let out a huge yawn as he swung his legs onto the floor, "Don't they sleep? It was almost morning when we got out of Buck's house."

Lou chuckled, "There was a time when we rose at the crack of dawn no matter what time we slept the night before."

"Yeah, the good old days," Jimmy said with a ghost of a smile haunting his lips. "We had a great time, didn't we?"

"Not just a great time. The best," Lou answered, her smile mirroring Jimmy's as she remembered the hard days of riding for the Express, the joy of finding a family among a group of orphans, the fights, the friendship, the love...

... the kiss. Jimmy felt heat rise up his cheeks as he remembered that one night so many years ago when he and Lou shared a tender, sweet and for him, soul-shattering kiss. He wondered if Lou ever thought about that night or if she ever told Kid about. Jimmy realized Lou was looking at him strangely and he struggled to cover his lapse. "If only Noah and Ike are here with us..."

"Sometimes I think they actually are," Lou smiled tenderly.

Jimmy's jaw hardened as he remembered that one member of the family is in danger of being lost to them. "We can't lose, Teaspoon."

Lou looked him straight in the eye. "We're not planning to."

For some reason he didn't dare think about those simple words calmed the tempest in Jimmy's soul. Teaspoon will be all right. He believed that. Because Lou said so? He didn't know. Seeing her again after all this time, more beautiful than ever, had reawaken a maelstrom of feelings he thought he had vanquished. Acting on pure impulse, Jimmy drew Lou to him. "God, I've missed you!"

"Is this a private celebration or can I join?"

Jimmy turned to see Kid standing at the door of the guest room.

CHAPTER SIX

At the moment, a hangman's noose felt more like a preferable place for Jimmy. He wanted the earth to swallow him where he stood. His experiences in situations like this haven't always been good ones... and that's putting it very mildly. He didn't think wedding rings and six years of marriage changed Kid's disposition towards his attentions to Lou a whole lot. Slowly, unobtrusively Jimmy tried to remove his arms around Lou's waist, but it wasn't easy to get out of the embrace when Lou's arms were still around his neck.

"Don't be silly," Lou told Kid, in what sounded to Jimmy like an out-of-place rebuke.

The last thing Jimmy wanted was for Kid's anger to get stoked. So consumed was Jimmy in his remorse that he missed Kid flash a grin before wrapping them both in a bear hug. Kid's laughter and Lou's giggles rose and mingled with Jimmy's shocked coughs. No one knew who started the tickling, but soon afterwards, the three of them were collapsing on the floor and going half-heartedly after each other. A pillow was snagged from the bed and before long, Kid, Jimmy and Lou were engaged in a riotous pillow fight.

Buck walked in on the laughing trio and promptly walked out again, shaking his head at the childish antics of his friends. He stopped in midstride, however. The laughter was infectious. And God knows he needed a good one. "What the hell," Buck mumbled as he retraced his steps and entered the room. He grabbed another pillow from the bed and joined the happy melee.

It was the first time any of them laughed, really laughed in a very longtime. The first time they felt free from the burdens they carried. For a few moments, everything was fine in the world. Teaspoon wasn't lying in a coma. The Black Riders were unheard of. And the Kiowa tribe's massacre didn't happen.

They were still on the floor, rolling on their sides and laughing when the elderly Rose found them. The older woman frowned at the group but the twinkle in her eyes said she was glad to see them happy and laughing for a change. "A buckboard has been spotted around the curve. Figured you might want to see whoever is coming," she said, addressing Kid and Lou. "Cause they are rolling like the devil is after them."

*****

Louisa surreptitiously fixed her bonnet which came off during Cody's mad ride towards the ranch. She didn't know whether it was the wind or the bumps that knocked her hat off from her head. She knew she looked disheveled, not exactly the way she wanted to meet Cody's family.

She watched with a twinge of envy as her husband jumped down from the wagon and enveloped a petite young woman with lovely brown eyes in a bear hug. She knew the woman's name was Lou, short for Louise. Cody said Louise masqueraded as a boy when they rode for the Pony Express. Louisa had a hard time imagining the lovely woman before her as a boy. After Cody set her down, he turned his attention towards a handsome young man whose welcoming smile included Louisa as well. She heard Cody refer to him as Kid and realized that this was the man her husband said had a funny name. He looked very nice and very sweet and Louisa began to feel less of an intruder. She was distracted from her thoughts when she heard her husband call the next man Jimmy. Louisa suppressed an involuntary shiver as she looked at the fellow and realized that she was actually staring at "Wild Bill" Hickok. He does look menacing, Louisa said to herself. She made a mental note not to approach the man without Cody by her side in the future. The last man Cody greeted was different from everybody -- in looks and in manner. He was tall with bronze skin and hair as black as charcoal. His face was beautifully sculpted; sharp cheekbones, high forehead, piercing black eyes and full lips. The imperfection of his nose -- which was slightly bent at the tip --only enhanced his beauty, proving that such male beauty was not an illusion.

Louisa felt herself shudder when she realized that those black eyes she was examining so intently were staring back at her. There was pain and anger in them and for a moment Louisa thought it was directed at her.

"Isa," Cody called out.

Louisa looked up to see everybody looking at her with varying degrees of curiosity and she squirmed underneath the probing gazes. She stood up and held out her hand for Cody to assist her in alighting from the wagon, but her husband had already turned around, greeting a small boy who she later learned was Kid and Lou's oldest son. Embarrassed, Louisa tried to cover her husband's inattention by picking up her valise but she was beaten to the task by a pair of small yet surprisingly strong hands.

"Welcome to Sweetwater." Lou smiled warmly at the woman who shared her name.

"It's nice to be here," Isa heard herself say. Then, Louisa remembered the reason why she and Cody rushed down to Sweetwater and she was horrified by her blunder. "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean it's nice that your friend was injured. It's just that I've heard of you all and I so wanted to meet you and--"

"Isa," Cody interrupted in a tone that meant to stem his wife's stream of words.

"Sorry," Louisa whispered, feeling small and stupid before her husband's friends.

"No. Don't worry about that," Lou said, linking her arm to Louisa's after flashing Cody a frown. Sure as sin, it didn't take Cody long enough to do something irritating such as embarrassing his wife. "We're happy to meet you finally. We didn't know Cody got married until we read the announcement of your wedding in one of those newspapers."

"And everybody wanted to meet the lady who was actually willing to become Cody's wife," Jimmy pitched in, earning a good-natured jab from Cody. "You were willing, weren't you?" he added as he fled into the house with Cody in hot pursuit.

Louisa laughed as she looked around her and saw Kid and Lou's beaming faces. Then her gaze fell on Buck and she suppressed another shiver. She tightened her hold on Lou's arm as she entered the house.

*****

Buck watched as everybody entered the house. He deliberately stayed behind, knowing that he needed time to regain his composure. Only when the last figure disappeared through the door did Buck relax his clenched fists. He dragged his hand across his face and drew a cleansing breath. He didn't expect his reaction to Cody's wife, Louisa and he was furious with himself.

She's not the same woman. She just had the same coloring. The same porcelain-like complexion. The same red hair, the shade of a pre-dawn sun. The same bewitching green eyes. Deceitful eyes.

Buck opened his eyes as the memory of another lovely woman began to invade his mind. Louisa is different, Buck told himself, repeating the statement like a mantra. She is Cody's wife.

Not mine.

Chapter Seven

"I don't understand. What do you mean there's no Marshall?" Jimmy asked Barnett. Hickok had been in Sweetwater for a week and the lack of activity was making him antsy. Nothing had changed. Teaspoon was still comatose. The Black Raiders were still terrorizing towns farther in the west. Tired of waiting for something to happen, Jimmy decided to find out more about the gang so he rode into town early hoping to talk to whoever was acting as Marshall In Teaspoon's place. But instead of finding someone who could help him, Jimmy found himself face to face with the town's lovable but irritatingly inept deputy.

Barnett made a face, irritated at Hickok's incessant questioning. "Like I said Hickok, no Teaspoon, no Marshall," he drawled out slowly, as if talking to a child of no more than three. "I take care of things for now. But you can talk to the mayor if you like."

Jimmy decided not to ask Barnett where the mayor's office was, figuring he'd find it easily on how own rather than with the deputy's directions. He quickly turned around and hurried out of the Marshall's office, nearly slamming into a small, portly man who was standing on the doorway.

"Excuse me, sir," Jimmy steadied himself and the older man before running towards the mayor's office on the other side of the street. He was halfway towards his destination when he heard a voice call out.

"If it is the mayor you are looking for, son, you already found him."

Jimmy turned his head to see the man he nearly knocked down waving at him. Narrowly avoiding being trampled by a carriage and a horse, Jimmy made his way back to the Marshall's office.

"Albert Jenkins at your service." A stubby hand took Jimmy's hand in an astonishingly strong grasp. "And you are 'Wild Bill' Hickok."

"James Butler Hickok," Jimmy corrected curtly.

Jenkins cleared his throat, "Well then, James Butler Hickok, what can I do for you?"

"Figured you could tell me what's happening around here. Why those bastards who shot Teaspoon are still out there." Jimmy shouted the last words for Barnett's benefit. The eavesdropping deputy walked back inside the Marshall's office in a huff.

"It's a rather long story and involves your good friend Kid. Would you like to join me for a bottle of whiskey?"

*****

"Where's everybody?" Buck poked his head inside the kitchen where Lou was sitting, feeding Marylou some mashed potatoes. James was sitting on the floor playing with a ball. He gave the newcomer a wary glance but did not scream and hide behind his mother as he was wont to do. Buck figured it was a good sign.

"Kid left early to take some horses to Blue Creek while Jimmy rode into town. Cody is somewhere around the ranch, hounding Paul probably," Lou answered without looking up. Marylou was ignoring her mother's attempts to feed her, trying to catch and play with the shiny spoon instead.

Buck waited for Lou to say more, to mention one particular lady's whereabouts. When Lou didn't continue, Buck decided to ask, "And Louisa?"

"Probably with Cody. Why?"

Buck shrugged his shoulders dismissively. He couldn't very well tell Lou he was avoiding Louisa. She would laugh at him. Settling himself beside Lou, Buck watched the baby's attempts to evade her food.

Exasperated, Lou put down the spoon and turned towards Buck. She found him staring at her bemusedly. Shoving the bowl full of mashed potatoes towards him, Lou stood up. "Here, you've had practice with James. I'll go get some soup for Teaspoon."

"How is he?" Buck asked as he prepared to feed Marylou.

"He don't look so pale anymore. Aside from that, nothing has changed."

Buck didn't miss the note of desperation and worry in Lou's voice nor the bags under her eyes. It was obvious that Teaspoon's condition was also taking its toll on Lou.

"He'll be fine, Lou."

"I hope you're right, Buck." Lou said.

"How is Kid holding up?"

"Good." Lou answered without conviction, Buck thought. He knew Lou. And he knew Kid. And from what he has seen since his arrival, he knew there was something wrong. Kid would go tense when he heard someone coming. Buck found him staring at his gun a lot. And Paul called Buck aside one day to tell him Mr.. Kid had been behaving awfully strange lately. Rose even told him that she heard Lou asking Kid about nightmares he seemed to be having.

"Lou--"

"Buck," Lou interrupted, looking Buck straight in the eye. She was about to blow him off, to assure him that she and Kid were fine, but the understanding and concern she saw in his eyes opened the floodgates of her pain instead and suddenly her body was wracked by sobs.

Buck set down the bowl and gathered Lou in his arms, letting her pour out all the emotions she had been keeping inside. As he stroked her hair, he felt a small object strike his thigh repeatedly. Buck looked down to find James pounding at him with his little fists. The little boy's lip was trembling and his eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"Uh, Lou..." Buck whispered. "James is about to attack me."

Lou drew back to see her son poised to strike another blow. Immediately, she scooped him up and settled him on her tiny waist. "Hey, Uncle Buck is a friend," she said as she dried her tears with the back of her hand.

James remained unconvinced, after all, the big man made his mama cry. Silently, he pointed at Lou's tear-stained face.

"Well yeah, but sometimes people need to cry. Especially when it hurts here," Lou pointed to her heart. "But it's not Uncle Buck's fault. Now, say sorry."

"Sorry."

Buck smiled at the little boy as he reached out and mussed his hair, "That's fine." Then he switched his attention to Lou. With one brow raised, he posed a question.

"I'm fine, Buck."

"The tears say otherwise."

Lou didn't answer Buck. Instead, she put James down and gave him a little push towards his sister. "Play with Marylou, James," she told the young boy.

Her arms empty, Lou wrapped them around herself as she sat down. She felt cold as she remembered the events last night. Kid woke up screaming but she asked what happened he became cold and abrupt. Emotion tightened Lou's throat as she remembered how, instead of seeking comfort in her arms, Kid had turned his back to her.

"Kid has been acting terribly strange. Been having these nightmares. I asked him about them, but he wouldn't say. You know Kid, Buck. Ain't getting anything from him until he is good and ready to tell you."

So the nightmares are true, Buck thought to himself. But aloud, he said, "Don't worry too much. I'm sure he is just worried about Teaspoon."

Lou thought about that for a while, then shook her head. "No, it's more than that, I think. But I don't know," she said as she raised her hand to stifle another yawn.

"You should really get some rest."

Lou shook her head gravely. "I have chores to do. I'm not gonna sulk."

Buck smiled, rubbing Lou's back.

Lou smiled in return. "You can take my mind off my problems, you know," she said, casting Buck a sideways glance. "You can tell me about what you've been doing since you left K&L," Lou added softly.

Buck's lips curved into a bitter smile. "Kid told you already."

"About Red Bear, yes."

"There you go..."

Lou searched Buck's eyes and she found pain that mirrored the depth of her own. Instinct told her losing his beloved brother is not the only source of Buck's pain. Only one thing could strip a man vulnerable and expose his very core... a woman.

Buck looked away. He feared Lou's probing, knowing she was the one person who could see through the sharp ache in his heart. He badly wanted to share his burden, but knew that it would be too much for Lou. He gazed at his friend with all the love in his heart, touched that she would be willing to take on his demons, too. His hand reached out to gently caress Lou's face.

"Thanks. But this is something I need to keep to myself right now."

Lou nodded understandingly. "Just say when." With that said, she left the kitchen with a bowl of soup in her hands.

Lou gone, Buck returned to his seat in front of Marylou's high chair and focused his attention on the little girl who was looking at him with more suspicion than a baby should have. James had long abandoned his uncooperative playmate, concentrating, instead, on his little ball.

"Hey there," Buck greeted the little girl softly. "Can you say my name yet? Uncle Buck... Bu---ck... Buck..."

Raspberries.

"Guess not. You're still too young. Well, if you are good and you eat this, I'll tell you about another uncle you have. His name is Ike..."

Using techniques he perfected when he was taking care of James, Buck was able to feed Marylou all the food in her little bowl. He was down to the last scoop when heard the sound of someone running. Seconds later, Lou burst into the kitchen.

"Teaspoon is awake!"

CHAPTER EIGHT

His eyes felt grainy, like some naughty little child sprinkled sand in them while he was asleep. After blinking a few times, Teaspoon was able to open his eyes fully. Cautiously, he moved his head and was punished with a pounding headache for his minute effort. Instinctively, he moved his right hand to hold his head, but he quickly dropped it when he felt slivers of pain shoot up. Best to lie still, he grumbled to himself.

As he stared at the ceiling, contemplating his situation, Teaspoon remembered the events that led him here. He and O'Reilley were able to corner some of the Black Raiders. Despite the gang's notorious reputation, O'Reilley's men didn't think twice about riding into the enemy camp. Without waiting for a signal, some members of the Marshall's posse attacked. Young fools probably figured it would be an easy task to capture the gang and string them up. They paid dearly for their foolishness and arrogance. A blood bath followed, the likes of which Teaspoon thought he only saw during a war. The posse outnumbered the gang badly but the latter gave as good it got. By the time the smoke from the gunfight cleared. Only five of the original twenty-men posse was breathing. And all the gang members were dead, some by their own hands. Teaspoon's eyes misted as he remembered seeing the pale, lifeless body of his friend and colleague but he blinked away the tears when he heard footsteps. Slowly, his door opened to reveal Lou and Buck.

"Hey, Teaspoon." Lou cautiously sat on one side of Teaspoon's bed.

Buck moved to the other side and leaned against one wall. "How are you feeling?"

"Been better," came the hoarse reply.

Lou poured a glass of water from the pitcher while Buck raised Teaspoon's head. Carefully, Lou placed the side of the glass against Teaspoon's lips.

His first sip of water tasted like heaven for Teaspoon. He wanted to finish the whole glass but Lou took it away even before he could finish half of it.

"We don't want you to overdo it," Lou lightly admonished when Teaspoon let out a grunt of disappointment. Buck shrugged his shoulders when Teaspoon silently appealed to him for help.

"You have to get your strength back," Lou told Teaspoon as she dressed the bandages. The wounds, she noted to her satisfaction, were healing quickly. "Pretty soon you'll have lots of visitors."

At Teaspoon's questioning frown, Lou added, "Well, Kid and I were worried when you didn't wake up so we called everybody. Buck and Jimmy were the first ones to arrive. Cody and his wife are here, too. It'll probably take awhile for Rachel and Mike to come up since they are in Washington. Oh, Emma and Sam, too."

Buck noticed that Teaspoon's frown grew darker. "Mike?" he heard the older man croak out.

Lou abruptly stopped straightening the bed and exchanged an amused glance with Buck, "Uh, yes. Mike Staulder. You remember him, don't you Teaspoon? He was working for the Pony Express and he stayed with us for a while when we were still at Rock Creek."

Teaspoon racked his brain but couldn't find an image to attach to the name Mike Staulder. He was starting to panic, fearful that he was losing his memory when Buck provided the answer. "Teaspoon won't remember," the Indian said to Lou. Turning to the older man, he explained, "You took a prisoner to Fort Laramie, I think. That was the week that our stock got stolen by this gang which was targeting Express outposts."

One of Teaspoon's brow's lifted in that way that is characteristic of him. "Missed a lot, hmmm" he whispered.

"Yes," Lou interrupted, "and you might miss more if we don't get some food in you real soon. I'll get you some biscuits and eggs, how about that?"

Teaspoon nodded slightly.

Lou started to leave the room, but Buck motioned her to remain seated while he got the food.

"How's the family?"

Lou looked down at Teaspoon and flashed him a quick smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Teaspoon saw the pain she was trying to hide. "James has taken to hiding behind me all the time. Marylou has began to talk though none of us understands what she means."

She didn't mention Kid, Teaspoon noticed. "How's that husband of yours?"

The pain in her eyes sharpened. "Stubborn as ever," Lou abruptly answered. It was an old joke between them borne out of Lou's complaints to Teaspoon during the early years of her marriage to Kid. But this time, there was no mirth behind the statement.

Alarmed, Teaspoon asked, "He didn't go after the Black Raiders, did he?"

Lou let out a deep sigh, "No he didn't."

Teaspoon nodded, relieved. He didn't want Kid to go on a vendetta, though for a moment, he thought Kid -- who always wanted to do the right thing, who always wanted to set right what was wrong -- had gone after the raiders after seeing his injuries. Lou answer eased Teaspoon's worry, but the more he thought about it the more he realized that a small part of him wondered what stopped Kid from leaving...

*****

"Where the hell is that good-for-nothing husband of yours?"

Lou started at the sound of angry voice and she turned her head to find Jimmy standing on the doorway of the dark barn. "Jimmy? What's going on?"

"You tell me," Jimmy replied, his lips curled in a sneer, his voice cold with disdain.

Lou stood up and walked towards Jimmy while her foreman -- knowing Lou wouldn't want the curious gazes and open ears of other people -- immediately rounded up his sons, ushered them out the barn and firmly closed the door.

"Where have you been?" Lou asked. As she came near Jimmy, she caught a whiff of liquor. "You've been drinking," she said accusingly, forgetting for one moment that they were no longer riders for the Pony Express and therefore no longer subject to the company's no drinking laws.

"Don't worry, Lou. My sarsaparilla days are long gone. A couple of shots of whiskey only warms me up."

Lou tugged at Jimmy's arm, trying to lead him back to the house. "C'mon, let's get you inside the house. You need coffee."

Jimmy dug his heels and shook Lou's hand loose, "I don't want coffee. What I want is your husband, right here, right now, telling me why he hasn't pinned on that goddamn badge and gone after Teaspoon's shooters."

"What?"

"Oh, don't hide behind that innocent front, Lou. You probably talked him into this. Just like you talked him out of the war."

Lou went white. "I-- I don't what you are talking about."

"Your husband refused to take over as Marshall and help capture the Black Raiders," Jimmy said coldly.

Before Lou could respond, a quiet voice answered from the behind, "It's not my responsibility,"

Jimmy whirled to around to find Kid standing behind him. "Damn you!" With those words, he swung his fist. Kid staggered back at the force of the blow but did not respond in kind.

Lou ran to her husband's side and shouted angrily at Jimmy, "How dare you throw accusations like that! We are doing everything we can for Teaspoon."

"Oh yeah, you're doing everything. Everything except going after the men responsible for almost killing Teaspoon. Day in, day out you go into that room, feeding him, bathing him, but you won't do the one thing that really matters."

"You don't understand, I--"

"No, I really don't," Jimmy snapped angrily.

"I can't just leave and ride after bandits and criminals. I have a wife and children, a ranch to run, people to take care of."

Jimmy let out a snort . "Didn't know you were yellow, Kid."

Kid opened his mouth to respond but couldn't say anything. He was a coward, wasn't he? The idea of him being near the Black Raiders frightened him to his very soul. Jimmy was only telling the truth. Kid slowly turned around and walked away, leaving Lou and Jimmy staring at him, one in bewilderment, the other in disgust.

Lou was the first to recover. "Why are you doing this? Why would you want to hurt us? To hurt me?

"This is not about you, Lou. It's about doing the right thing."

A bitter smile crept into Lou's face. "Are you sure, Jimmy?"

*****

Dinner could have been a more boisterous affair. Teaspoon was already up, stubbornly disobeying the doctor's orders for him to stay three more days in bed. Being in bed made him more sick, he told Lou.

Almost everybody was present. The riders -- the surviving ones, anyway --were complete. But tension cloaked what should have been a festive reunion. Buck, Lou and Cody struggled to keep the conversation flowing with "do-you-remember's?" and "whatever-happened-to's?"

"Hmmm, I must have died and gone to hungry man's heaven. This is great, Lou," Cody said as he put down another clean bone of chicken. Lou smiled at the compliment but her face fell when Cody added, "Who would have thought you'd learn to cook when you couldn't even boil water before."

"Thank you for the reminder, Billy," she answered dryly. Cody's response was to salute her with another chicken leg he picked from the food basket.

"Dunno," Teaspoon said hoarsely, his lips curling into a sly grin. "Always liked Louise's cooking."

One side of Buck's mouth lifted into a half-smile. "Then you don't remember those months when we had to drink some powerful herbs just so we can...," he remarked, rubbing his stomach with his hand and nodding at Teaspoon. The older man let out a gruff guffaw.

"Hey! I wasn't that bad," Lou reacted indignantly. "Was I, Kid?" she asked turning to her husband.

"No, you weren't," came the soft response.

"And that pot roast I cooked yesterday for lunch wasn't half bad, was it, Louisa?"

Isa lifted her eyes to find everybody looking at her. "Well, it could have used a couple more minutes inside the oven but it was passable, I guess," she answered with a slight smile.

"Passable!?" an indignant Lou harrumphed, as the room exploded in laughter. Isa turned to see if she offended Lou with her joke. She need not have worried. Her new friend was already laughing with the group.

Louisa wasn't the only uncomfortable figure on the table. Jimmy stole a glance at Teaspoon and found the older man's unsmiling stare directed at him. Jimmy squirmed uncomfortably in his seat and trained his eyes on the peas on his plate deftly avoiding Teaspoon's gaze. But he could feel Teaspoon's eyes boring a hole on his head.

"Hey! How's Sam and Emma?" Cody asked.

"Oh, you know they've got two beautiful children. A boy and a girl. Twins, actually," Lou gushed.

"Haven't seen the little ones yet," Teaspoon complained

"Sam didn't want to travel after Emma gave birth. Seems like she had a little trouble with the pregnancy and the birthing. But everything is fine now," Lou explained. She turned to Louisa, "How about you, do you have any young ones yet?"

"Not yet," Louisa answered with regret.

"Well, you're still young." Lou winked at Louisa and reached over to pat her hand consolingly. Turning her attention to the men at the table, "Now boys, why don't you go on outside and catch up with each other. Louisa and I will take care of these dishes."

Jimmy froze at Lou's words, dreading a private time with Teaspoon.

"Much as I would like to join you gentlemen," Teaspoon said, "I would have to go back to my room for some rest. Kid, can you help me..."

Kid moved to the end of the table to assist Teaspoon.

After the older man was back in his room safe and sound, the Jimmy, Buck and Cody gathered on the porch. Kid, wary of Jimmy since the afternoon confrontation, reluctantly followed

"So, what's the deal with the raiders? Cody began. "Anyone catch them yet?"

Jimmy's lips curled derisively, "Yeah Kid, anyone catch the gang yet?"

Cody didn't wait for Kid to respond. "Why don't we go after them?"

"We?" Buck asked mildly.

"Yeah, we could gather a posse and lead an attack on this raiders. It will just be like old times." Cody was warming up to the idea of being at the head of the posse which will capture the notorious gang. This could be another one for the book, he thought to himself.

Kid shook his head. "No one knows where they are hiding or even how many men there are. There were twenty men on Teaspoon's posse and they met up with only handful of raiders and they were nearly wiped out."

"Didn't know you were yellow, Kid?" Hickok repeated his earlier accusation.

Kid started to respond angrily but stopped. What could he say? It was the truth, ain't it? So instead, he nodded slowly. "That I am, Jimmy," he said before turning away and walking back inside the house.

CHAPTER NINE

"What the hell was that?"

"That, Cody, is our friend turning his back on Teaspoon."

"What do you mean?" Buck asked, though he already had a sinking feeling as to what the exchange between Kid and Jimmy meant. Paul, the foreman, had sought Buck after Jimmy's outburst in the barn. Buck was too late to see it, but Paul told him enough.

"Did you know Kid refused to take up the Marshall's badge and go after the raiders?"

"Why in God's name did he do that?" Cody couldn't believe that the young man who led them in so many adventures would refuse an opportunity like that. I fit was him, he wouldn't have thought twice. "Elm set him straight."

Jimmy grabbed Cody's coat to prevent him from going after the Kid. "What for? You heard the man... You know what I really think. He is afraid to go out of his perfect little world. Marriage has softened him."

"Lou will kill you for saying that but I think you're right," Cody agreed.

Buck stared at his friends in wonder. "Listen to yourselves. Instead of trying to figure out why Kid refused to after the raiders -- which I think is perfectly sane considering the odds -- you go and judge him quickly. Of course, he would think twice about riding against the raiders. He's got responsibilities now. A wife, children, ranch, people working for him," he said angrily. Seeing his words had no effect on his friends, Buck changed his tone. "This is Kid we are talking about. I'm sure there is an explanation for all this," he added beseechingly.

Jimmy let out a snort of disbelief. "Sure, go on defending him. After all, you are part of his perfect little world, ain't you?"

Buck's black eyes pierced Jimmy to his spot. "Do what you want. Believe what you will. Just make sure you're going after the raiders because of the right reasons. Not because you want to make heroes of your selves," he said, moving his gaze to Cody. "Or because you think it'll buy you a person's forgiveness," Buck bit out softly, his gaze shifting back to Jimmy.

*****

Kid dropped the curtain he was holding back and turned away from the window at the sound of his wife's footsteps. He had been watching Jimmy and Cody take their horses from the stable and ride out of the ranch. He wanted to call out to them, to explain them why he couldn't do what they wanted him to do, but the words froze in his throat. Jimmy was right on the mark when he called me a coward, Kid thought.

"Kid?" Lou stood beside her husband and lovingly ran her hand down his back. Her hand stilled when she noticed how tense he was. Her brown eyes deepened with concern, "What's wrong?"

Kid shook his head. "Nothing. Are the children sleeping?" After the scene with Jimmy and Cody, he didn't want to hear anymore questions. He hoped to distract Lou but the ploy didn't work.

"Yes, they are. Kid, why did Jimmy and Cody leave in the middle of the night?"

"You saw them?" Kid frowned.

"Jimmy was taking all his stuff out of his room. I asked him but he said I should ask you. What's going on? I thought you and Jimmy straightened things out when you stepped out on the porch."

Kid's lips pressed into a thin line. "Nope." Hoping to get away from the topic, he tried to make his way towards the door, but Lou blocked his path. "Lou, I have to wash up okay. It's been a long day. I'm tired."

"We can talk while you're cleaning up."

"There's nothing to talk about," Kid said tightly.

"Yes, there is and you know it. Otherwise you wouldn't be avoiding me," Lou almost shouted as she crossed her arms in front of her. "Kid, what was Jimmy talking about inside the barn this afternoon?"

Kid dragged his hand across his face and exhaled slowly, "Jimmy is just saying crazy stuff. They're not worth talking about," he said dismissively, his agitation at the topic growing by the second.

But Lou, tired of her husband's morose silence, the angry accusations from Jimmy she didn't understand, wouldn't let go, "Jimmy said you didn't want to pin on the badge. What badge? The Marshall's badge? And why is Jimmy calling you a coward? What did--"

Lou never got to finish her sentence. All the sleepless, terror-filled nights, all the guilt, all the fear came together. Kid's hand curled around the first thing he touched and with all the anger and desperation burning inside him, Kid hurled the vase across the room. It shattered into pieces, carpeting the floor behind Lou with sharp shards of porcelain.

Lou's breath caught in her throat, her eyes filled with fear and disbelief. Stunned by her husband's violent eruption, she remained rooted to where she stood. Deep in her heart she knew she wasn't the target of Kid's anger but for the first time in her married life, she became afraid of the man she loved.

Kid was shocked as much as Lou. He didn't realize what he intended to do until the vase actually left his hand and by that time the deed was done. He heard the porcelain vase break and felt his soul shatter along with it. Full of remorse, Kid took a step toward Lou and was crushed when she took an involuntary step backwards. It was the last straw and Kid collapsed on the floor, his body racked by sobs.

Lou hesitated slightly, then rushed to her husband's side, her love overpowering her fear. She wrapped her arms around him and rocked him gently. "Shhhh, it will be all right. I'm here. It will be all right," she said.

"I'm such a coward, Lou," Kid whispered. "I'm such a coward."

At that moment, the door flung open and Buck burst in, his gun drawn. "What happened?" he asked, his eagle eyes, scanning the room for any sign of trouble. His gaze fell on the broken pieces of porcelain on the floor and quickly moved to the couple huddled on the floor. "What happened?" he repeated.

Lou shook her head and helped Kid stand up and sit on the bed. Buck looked around, not knowing what was expected of him. Finally, he put his gun back to its holster and turned to leave.

"Buck, wait."

The Indian looked back. Kid was not looking at him but he couldn't mistake the pleading he heard in his friend's voice. He walked back inside the room and settled himself on the floor in front of his friend. Lou sat beside Kid, her hands cradled in his. "I'm sorry, I should have told you this the moment we heard about the raiders," Kid said, his eyes on their joined hands. He was afraid to search Lou's face for forgiveness and understanding, unsure of what he might find.

"They said no one has ever survived an attack by the Black Raiders," Kid said brokenly, his voice hoarse with emotion. "They are wrong..."

"What do you mean?" Buck asked.

Kid gazed unseeingly at his friend, his mind had already gone back to that night of terror several years ago. "One night when I was ten, I sneaked out of our house. I met with my friend Pete in the woods at the back of their house and we played marbles. I remember I lost five marbles to him. We heard a rumbling from the distance and we thought it was thunder but men wearing black masks came galloping towards Pete's house. We managed to hide and from the bushes we watched as the men ... killed Pete's family."

Kid shuddered to a stop as the gory images invaded his mind once again. But instead of pushing the memories away, he invited them and let them fill him. He wanted to remember every single terrible moment.

"We were safe behind the bushes but when Pete saw his mother being dragged out, he ran towards her. He was dropped before he even reached his mother's arms. Even if I wanted to scream I couldn't. The men stole the horses and burned the barns and then they were... gone. I don't know how I got home, but when I woke up the next day I had a terrible fever and my mom was crying. Jed was furious because my father ran out on us and left us to fend for ourselves. I couldn't remember much of those weeks. I was too sick to remember anything except what happened that night. My nightmares won't let me forget. They stopped when I left Virginia."

"And you never had them again until Teaspoon got that letter from his friend about the Black Raiders."

Kid's head snapped up as he heard his wife's shaking voice. "Why didn't you tell me?" Lou asked, her soft, breaking voice failing to mask the hurt she felt. "Why did you hide this from me?

"I... I don't--" Kid shook his head helplessly.

Lou looked into her husband's eyes, searching for the answers to her questions. And she found them. She understood what he was going through --his need to keep others from seeing his paralyzing fear, his guilt for having survived when others have not, his belief that his fear has made him a lesser man. Slowly, the pain Lou's heart diminished. In its place grew a deeper love for the man she married six years ago. Lou suddenly felt small, felt ashamed for being hurt. Hadn't she done the same thing to him when a ghost from the past came to haunt her? Hadn't she shut him out when Wicks --the man who attacked her as a young woman -- arrived in Rock Creek? Her eyes brimming with unshed tears, Lou cupped Kid's face in her hands and kissed him. Salty tears mixed with her own as Kid wrapped his arms around her as if he would never let go.

"I'm so sorry," Kid said.

"No, I'm sorry."

Buck watched his friends... with love and more than a little envy. He didn't want the terror Kid is going through, but he knew if the same thing happened to him, he would want a woman just like Lou. Without reminding the intertwined couple of his presence, Buck stood up and let himself out of the room.

*****

Kid looked up just in time to see fire spread in the bushes around him. He sprang from the undergrowth which served as his hiding place and ran as fast as his ten-year-old legs could carry him towards the barn. Closer...closer... several more feet... when suddenly a huge black horse reared up in front of him. Stunned, Kid fell backwards and covered his head with his arms, certain that the horse was going to trample him and he was going to die. He waited for the striking blow but it never came. When he opened his eyes, he had in his hands a gun. Slowly, his little fingers quivering, he lifted the gun at the man behind the mask. He pulled at the trigger but it was too heavy for his small hand. Tears falling from his eyes, a prayer spilling from his lips, he pulled the trigger. BANG! The man fell dead. Cautiously, Kid approached the fallen figure. Blood was already pooling under the head. With a mixture of fear and anticipation, Kid tugged at the mask covering the man's face... then he woke up.

*****

"Kid." The sound of soft whimpers had wakened Lou. She quickly realized that her husband was once again caught in the throes of another nightmare. Gently, she shook him, trying to free him from the clutches of the dark images in his mind.

"Sweetheart, you're just dreaming. Wake up." The skin beneath her hand was as cold as ice. And hard like granite. Suddenly, Kid opened his eyes. They were wild with fear and anger. Lou felt like she was watching a volcano up close. Rock hard all around, the violence trapped underneath. She prayed she wouldn't witness another eruption like the one earlier in the evening.

"It's okay. I'm here. It's okay," she repeated over and over again until she felt that the words have finally broken through Kid's wall of terror.

After what seemed like an eternity, Kid's heart finally slowed down to its normal rhythm. Wordlessly, he slid out of Lou's embrace and stood by their window. He pointed towards an object outside the window. Lou stood up to see what it was.

"See that moon?," Kid asked. "It was almost like that when Pete... got killed. I remember because we were playing marbles and we didn't need any light at all because the moon was so bright... so bright we could see almost everything... everything." He turned to wrap his arms around Lou and place a soft kiss on her brow. "I don't think the nightmares will stop unless I face--."

Lou shook her head and wrapped her arms tightly around her husband. Kid returned her embrace with a touch of desperation. "No, don't go," Lou pleaded, her voice muffled by Kid's chest.

"I have to, Lou," Kid said. "You see that, don't you?"

Lou wanted to say that no she didn't see why Kid had to go after the raiders, why he would risk his life. But she couldn't.

"I don't want to, Lou. But I have to," he said. Lou could hear the steely determination in his voice. Her tears flowed unchecked. Her lips sought his and they clung together, fearful of what tomorrow might bring.

*****

"Lou, told me everything. Are you sure, son?"

It was late morning. Kid and Buck were preparing to ride after their friends. The break of dawn brought not only Kid's resolution to go after Jimmy and Cody, but news from Mayor Jenkins that a ranch in Blue Creek had been burned down.

"I don't have any choice, Teaspoon. I've got to do this before I go insane, "Kid laughed without humor. "Besides we have to go after Jimmy and Cody. They have no idea what they are up against."

"Jenkins should have gone straight to the army. He shouldn't have approached you," Teaspoon said crossly.

Kid smiled at his friend's protectiveness. "No, he was right. I should have done this before. Anyway, the army is helping out. We'll be meeting them halfway through Fort Laramie. Some folks so masked riders around that area."

"We won't get into a fight unprepared, Teaspoon. We'll just scout the territory and get the boys and the posse out of there," Buck added reassuringly, when he saw Teaspoon's frown deepen.

"Hickok is doing this because of me, isn't he? He thinks he needs my forgiveness." The guilt in his heart was growing heavier. He knew that if the boy dies he'll never be able to forgive himself. I should have told him I didn't blame him for leaving, Teaspoon thought.

"Does he?" Buck asked quietly.

Teaspoon shook his head sadly. "No, but I never told him that, did I?"

"You'll get the chance when we bring him and Cody back." Kid assured his older friend. He tightened Katie's cinch before walking back up the porch where Lou was standing with Marylou on her waist and James at her feet.

"I'm glad Buck is going with you."

"I'm glad he is coming."

"You take care, okay. James and Marylou need you... I need you."

"Don't worry, sweetheart," Kid said as he took James into his arms and hugged him and kissed him. He did the same to Marylou though the little girl was oblivious to the reasons behind her father's actions. Finally, he wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her deeply.

Lou held on tight, almost unwilling to let go. "If you feel you can't handle it, you ride, OK. Just leave and return to the ranch. No one will think less of you."

Kid nodded, "I will."

Buck, who had just come up the steps, heard Lou's words and Kid's response. "Don't worry, Lou. It'll just be like old times," he said with a teasing smile.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Lou answered ruefully.

Buck hugged his friend and the kissed the kids when he noticed a figure hovering just behind the screen door. It was Louisa. He wanted to ignore her, just as he had for the past several days, but her downcast expression touched a part of him. He didn't know if Louisa even understood what was going on. Cody, Lou said, didn't even say good-bye. Buck felt he should makeup for his friend's neglect. "Hey," he called out gently. "I thought you weren't going to see us off."

Louisa looked around, surprised by Buck's attention and unsure of what to do. She was terribly insecure of her place in the family, not helped by Cody's abrupt departure. "No good-byes?" she heard Kid ask.

Taking a deep breath, Isa pushed the door open and waked outside. "Not good-byes... not yet," she answered, her voice almost too soft to be heard. Lou smiled at Isa reassuringly and tugged at her hand, bringing her closer to the group. Isa smiled gratefully at Lou, then shyly, she stole a glance at Buck, then at Kid. "Take care."

Within moments of their final farewells, Buck and Kid were mounted on their trusty steeds, galloping away. Lou followed her husband's figure until it disappeared into the horizon. She suddenly felt like it was the last time she was going to see Kid. She tightened her hold on her son's hand, willing the ominous feeling away. Kid is going to come back, she told herself. Beside her Teaspoon whispered a familiar refrain. "Ride safe, boys, ride safe."

CHAPTER TEN

It was late afternoon when Kid and Buck rode slowly into the clearing, careful to avoid a few remaining embers. Their eyes took in the devastation. The house and barns were completely burned down. Even the trees around them were singed by the intense heat of the fire. It was the site of the raider's last attack, a small but well-known ranch in Blue Creek. The mayor had told them that six people died, apparently burned alive.

The two riders dismounted and began scanning the place. Buck noticed an uneven spot and knelt down to take a better look. Kid went around the blackened remnants of the house to check for clues. He didn't expect anything. He found nothing. He went back to where Buck was still crouching, frowning at the deep and ragged marks on the ground.

"So, what do you think, Buck? How many horses were there?"

The Indian shook his head. "Hard to say. Too many."

"What?"

"The tracks were washed away by the storm last night but from what I could make out there are more than thirty of them. There are also some fresher than the others." Buck pointed to a mark on the ground. "Look here. Do you recognize this?"

"It looks vaguely familiar." Kid angled his head to get a better look.

"It's Jimmy's horse. See, it's got a nipped hoof."

"So, they're close behind. Jenkins said there were a couple of dozen people who went with Jimmy and Cody. They'll face the gang down no matter what."

Buck's mouth twisted into a wry smile. "Ever wished our friends weren't too cocky?"

"Cockiness will get them killed."

"Teaspoon said that to Hickok a lot."

"And he should have listened," Kid said with less force than he intended.

Buck sighed and finally told them his friend what had been on his mind throughout the ride. "Kid, they won't go back with us, you know that."

Resignation settled in Kid's features, "'Sure do."

*****

"What's on your mind, Cody?" Jimmy walked into the evening campfire and carelessly threw his dirty saddle next to Cody, nearly choking the blonde rider with all the dust that flew up.

"How do you know I was thinking?" Cody asked when he regained his breath.

"You haven't said a word the whole day. Ain't like you t'all." Jimmy plunked down beside his friend and stretched his legs with a groan. It had been a hard ride. After leaving the ranch last night they rode swiftly towards Redford to meet up with other lawmen. When they heard the news about Blue Creek, they immediately doubled back. Jimmy and Cody had been on the saddle for nearly a whole day.

"Well, if you must know I was thinking about the Kid.

"What about him?"

"Him not going with us?" Cody asked incredulously. He shook his head. "It don't make sense. I could have sworn that he would be the first outta here and after the gang."

"People change, Cody. They get settled, get comfortable, pretty soon, they don't want to lift a finger to change their perfect world--" Jimmy began.

"No, it ain't that," Cody interrupted.

"How do you know?"

"I've heard that Kid and Teaspoon had ridden against some pretty bad asses together over the years," Cody replied. He shrugged at Jimmy's questioning look. "So, I keep track of them," he said in a slightly defensive tone. Though he told himself his life with the Pony Express was a thing of the past, Cody couldn't quite bring himself to cut his ties with the only family he ever knew.

"What is it then? Why do you think Kid is being such an ass about the whole thing."

Cody shrugged again, but his eyebrows pulled into a frown. He felt something different about his friend but couldn't quite figure what it was. "I ain't sure. But I know Kid. YOU know Kid. He ain't like that. And even if he did change, he won't change that much. There's something else. I wish I could talk to Buck."

"What for?"

"To ask him. I'm sure he knows."

"Yeah, sure," Jimmy drawled out. He tried to sound dismissive but he couldn't quite pull it off, not when Cody's questions where the same ones going through his mind during the entire ride. He was beginning to regret his outbursts against his friend. Kid might be a righteous bastard sometimes, but one thing he ain't is a coward, Jimmy thought. He shifted uncomfortably as he remembered his anger towards Kid. But was it Kid he was really angry with? Jimmy frowned at the direction his thoughts were taking. Jimmy pushed away the potentially shameful ideas in his head. He stretched his legs farther and covered his upper body with his warm jacket. He tried to force himself to sleep, but Cody, however, had a different idea.

"Jimmy?"

Hickok grunted in response.

"You seem to have formed a pretty good idea why Kid is not going after Teaspoon's shooters. I want to know what's your reason."

"Reason for what?"

"For going after the raiders."

Jimmy didn't respond for a long time. He couldn't. The seconds turned to minutes and Jimmy began to squirm under the jacket. Finally, he flung his cover aside and blurted out, "It's Teaspoon, okay?"

"Hmmmm," Cody nodded understandingly. He didn't speak afterwards Jimmy thought he was going to let the subject drop. Then Cody continued in amusing tone, "But if you care for Teaspoon that much then why were you so...aloof at dinner?"

"A-what?" Jimmy cried out.

"Aloof. You barely talked to Teaspoon throughout the whole dinner. And if you did, it was 'would you like some more bread?'"

"I didn't want to tire him. Now, go to sleep."

Cody let out a snort but remained silent. He had given his friend food for thought. Cody smiled. Everyone probably thought he had no idea what was going on. But he knew. Kid was going through something terrible but he had Lou and Buck to help him out. Jimmy, on the other hand, had been hiding his pain from everyone, though unsuccessfully, Cody thought. Then he heard Jimmy mutter something.

"I didn't know what to say to him."

"What?"

"Teaspoon. I really don't know what to say to him. We didn't really part under the best circumstances. He was furious when I went back to Kansas. I didn't... don't think he would ever forgive me."

"And this is your atonement for abandoning him."

"Maybe. Hell, I don't know... I--," the sound of twigs breaking under a foot alerted Jimmy and Cody. Both had their guns cocked and ready before they finished asking, "Who's there?"

"Don't shoot, it's me Kid."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Kid stiffened at Jimmy's tone. He looked at Buck behind him with uncertainty, his initial resolve to join his friends dissolving at the face of Jimmy's hostility.

"You'll need the extra gun," Buck supplied curtly.

"Glad you're here, Kid," Cody said, ignoring Jimmy's sharp glance. Kid responded with a slight nod, his eyes never leaving Jimmy's face. He wondered if things will ever straighten out between him and Jimmy.

*****

"Coffee?"

"Thanks." Buck accepted the tin mug Cody gave him and sat opposite his friend. The other members of the posse were gathered around the campfire, their faces showing no signs of whatever apprehension, excitement or fear they might be feeling. Ten soldiers camped several feet from them. He and Kid were disappointed when they saw the soldier riding towards them. They expected a small army, but instead got saddled instead with 10 greenhorns who will the first to wet their pants at the first sign of battle. Buck wondered if the men understood what they got themselves into. Probably not, he told himself. He turned his attention to Cody. "So, do you know where the raiders are?"

"Across this bluff, below the canyon," came the sure reply. At Buck's questioning glance, Cody elaborated, "It's the only way. If they double back, they'll meet with us. They have nowhere to go."

"Good, we have them trapped. Are they moving out any time soon?"

"Hopefully not. Jimmy is scouting the area, trying to find a good place to set up an ambush."

Buck nodded before taking a gulp from the bitter brew. He grimaced as he felt the hot liquid warm his throat, then his empty stomach. The grumble he heard reminded him he hadn't had anything to eat since yesterday. He and the Kid skipped meals as they rode hard and fast to catch up with Cody and Jimmy. As he stood up to fetch his saddlebags where he had some dried beef jerky stashed, he felt Cody's eyes follow him.

"Where are you going?"

"I thought I'd get some of the dried beef jerky Lou made. Why?"

"Oh nothing," Cody shrugged nonchalantly, paying more attention to his coffee than necessary.

"You know, you haven't even asked me about your wife," Buck said when he returned. He handed a strip of beef to Cody.

"Louisa?" Cody frowned, suddenly remembering that he forgot to tell his wife where he was going. Oh well, Lou will take care of her, he thought.

Buck frowned at Cody's response, "Do you have any other?"

Cody smiled and shook his head, "She'll be fine. She's a soldier's wife, she's used to me taking off."

Buck suddenly felt angry on Louisa's behalf. He couldn't understand how Cody could be so dismissive, so uncaring. If she was his wife, he would-- Buck suddenly stopped. It was dangerous territory he was treading. The last thing he needed was to think of himself as someone's husband... again. Buck sat back down. His knees suddenly went weak. Looking for distraction, he glanced behind him and saw Kid engrossed in a conversation with one of the men. Looking at Kid, then back at Cody, Buck debated whether to tell his other friends Kid's story. He wanted to wait for Kid to tell Cody and Jimmy himself... but time is running out. Their friends should know.

"It's difficult for Kid to be here, you know," he began. Quickly he recounted Kid's tale.

"Why didn't he just say so?" Cody asked, visibly shaken by Kid's childhood ordeal.

"They are memories he would rather forget, Cody," Buck answered silently. "You can't expect him to just tell everybody."

"I would rather he did that," a new voice said evenly.

Buck and Cody looked up to see Jimmy standing near them, his face red with anger, his hands clenched in fists. It took Buck a moment to realize that Jimmy's fury was directed at himself.

"Just calm down, Jimmy."

"He shouldn't be here at all. Does he want to get himself killed? Just think of what could happen in a gunfight!" Jimmy cried out loud before turning and going towards the Kid.

One day, I would probably laugh about the irony of the situation, Buck thought as he and Cody scrambled to stop Jimmy from reaching Kid. He was too late.

"Go home. Take Buck with you." he heard Jimmy yell at Kid.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Look, Kid I'm not big on I'm sorry's so just take this as such. But you gotta haul yourself away from here and away from those raiders."

Kid looked at Buck with confusion. It was only when he saw his friend's guilty expression that he realized that Jimmy knew his story.

"I'm sorry, Kid. I told Cody..." Buck began.

"That's fine, Buck. I know you meant well," Kid assured, then shifting his gaze towards Jimmy, "Guess you got what you wanted. You're stuck with me."

*****

Kid felt more than saw the approaching figure. "Hey Kid, it's me," he heard Jimmy call out softly. With a muffled curse, Kid lowered his gun and assumed his original position behind a boulder. "What are you doing here? Where's Flaherty?" he asked without looking at Jimmy. Kid's attention was focused on the large group of men assembled below in the canyon. From what he could see there were only twelve raiders, but Kid has a feeling there were more.

"I switched with your guy," Jimmy answered as he crawled behind another one of the huge rocks surrounding the canyon.

Kid shook his head and chuckled softly.

"What?"

"Nothing." At Jimmy's frown, Kid elaborated, "Last night, you were ready to kick me out of this camp, hating my guts. Now, you're trying to protect me. Guilty conscience?"

Jimmy flushed, suddenly very aware of his error in judgment. "I already said I was sorry."

Jimmy's clipped tone only enhanced Kid's humor. "We are a sorry pair of friends, James Butler Hickok."

Realizing the absurdity of the situation, Jimmy finally cracked a smile. "We sure are, Kid. We sure are. Look, uh Kid, I am... really... sorry."

"I know," Kid nodded understandingly.

"No, you don't. It wasn't just about Teaspoon. It was about everything that you have that I don't," Jimmy searched Kid's face for a reaction but found none, so he rushed to explain, "You have a loving wife, a beautiful home, children who adore you not to mention a successful ranch. I guess I envied--"

"Jimmy," Kid interrupted his friend's litany. "I told you, I know and I understand."

A sound like that of the hoot of an owl stopped Jimmy from responding. Buck was on the other side of the canyon signaling them to wait. Unconsciously, Kid and Jimmy squared their shoulders, bracing themselves for the battle ahead. Kid held a Beckwood volley gun, similar to the one he used during their first adventure as riders of the Pony Express, while Jimmy had both his Navy Colts in his hands. On the other side of the canyon, they saw alight flash and they knew it was Cody's signal.

Suddenly, the canyon exploded. All Beckwood guns fired at the same moment, hitting previously appointed targets. The assault would have driven other men to scatter like headless chickens. But not this gang. Instead of reacting blindly to the volley fire raining at them, the Black Raiders calmly but swiftly assembled their arsenal of weapons and in no time, began to fire back.

The posse had the high ground. But the Black Raiders had the advantage of experience and they knew how to get out of tight spots... literally. The Raiders had an ace up their collective sleeve -- a secret passageway leading out of the canyon and right behind the attacking posse. Under the cover of gunfire and smoke of burning bedrolls, the Black Raiders began disappearing.

"Kid!" Jimmy shouted. "You think we're hitting anybody? I can't see a damn thing because of that smoke! Kid?"

"Jimmy, do you notice anything?"

"Didn't you hear me?" Jimmy bellowed. "I just said I can't see anything."

"No! Just listen. There is fewer gunfire coming from below."

Jimmy looked at Kid in disbelief. Kid's only response was a nod towards the canyon. Jimmy listened, or at least tried to, considering the cacophony of noise surrounding him. As he began to distinguish the sound of friendly fire from the volley coming from below, Jimmy realized that Kid was right. He sent a troubled glance at Kid who had began to move away from the boulder and motioned for Jimmy to follow him. The sound of footsteps made them pause. From across various shrubs, Jimmy counted five raiders approaching while Kid saw that other raiders were rapidly coming behind the unsuspecting posse.

"THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!" Kid shouted as he fired at a raider who was taking aim at Buck. The Indian flashed Kid a grateful smile before dropping to a safer position. The warning gave the posse several seconds to seek protection from the gunfire coming from behind them. Some were not quick enough and rapidly fell from the raiders' bullets. Others fell prey to the fire coming from the canyon were several more raiders remained.

The tables had turned. The lawmen and the soldiers were trapped.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"How the hell did this happen?" Cody shouted over the din of the gunfire. When no one answered, Cody looked behind his shoulder to see where Buck was.

His distraction nearly cost him his life.

One raider lifted his shotgun and cocked it soundlessly, his eyes never leaving his target -- Cody. Just as the man was pulling the trigger, an arrow sliced neatly through the air, lodging itself in the man's throat. So strong was the force that the man fell backwards and was pinned dead on the tree behind him, his face a mask of frozen horror.

Cody mouthed thanks to his friend but Buck didn't see, he was already plunging back into the heated battle.

*****

Kill! Kill them all! Wipe them out of the face of the earth! Avenge Red Bear's death--

Buck, blood-drenched knife in hand, wheeled away from his last victim. He didn't know when it all began to blur to him. One moment he was fighting raiders, the next he saw only the soldiers' uniform as they rode into his village, firing at everyone and everything. The horses the braves rode were shot from under them, and the Indian warrior themselves were trampled by the soldiers' mounts. Red Bear pulled him roughly from the melee, ordering him to save the women and children. Buck didn't want to go, sure that he could make a difference as a Kiowa warrior if he stayed. But Red Bear, his eyes filled with fury, told him to save what remained of their tribe. The last thing he saw before he rode out of the reservation camp was his beloved brother falling under a hail of bullets.

Buck shook the nightmares away and forced himself to calm down. He fought to remember what he was fighting for. This wasn't the time to think about the past. His eyes moved to the reddened blade of his knife and to the blood on his hands. With a shiver, he wiped the blade on the grass beneath him and slowly returned his knife to the sheath strapped on his thigh. With a renewed purpose, he pulled out his gun from its holster.

*****

"Kid, we're running low on ammunition. We've got to do something." Jimmy ducked, as he tried evade a hail of bullets, his fingers rapidly loading his guns with an ease that spoke of a life lived by that weapon.

Jimmy looked over to see Kid staring blindly at the canyon below. For a moment, Jimmy thought Kid's worst nightmare had come true -- that he had frozen in the midst of the fight. But when he saw Kid look back repeatedly from the edge of the abyss to the clearing below, Jimmy realized Kid was calculating the height of the canyon's drop. Jimmy eyed his friend worriedly, "You're not thinking of going down there are you?"

Kid's response was to start crawling towards the edge of the canyon. "There are only several raiders below but they pose a problem for our men. We have to take them out. Now you've got to cover me while I find a way down there."

"No, it's much to dangerous," Jimmy protested, as he grabbed Kid's ankles to prevent him from leaving.

"It's the only chance we've got. The only chance they've got," Kid pointed out, indicating the outgunned posse members with his head. He shook Jimmy's hand loose, then stopped to fire his gun at one of the raiders across the canyon.

"Then let me do it," Jimmy said, his tongue wetting his suddenly dry lips.

"Have you ever climbed down a steep wall like this one before?" Kid asked, although he knew the answer.

Jimmy hesitated, shaking his head.

"I didn't think so. Besides you should stay here. You're a much better shot."

Jimmy briefly remembered the time he and the riders were facing a similar situation. Kid volunteered to climb up a mountain and provide cover for the fleeing riders. He stopped Jimmy from coming saying Hickok was a much better shot than him. Jimmy knew that was crap. Kid could shoot an ace in the heart blindfolded. He'd seen him do it once.

"That may have worked before but... Kid, what are you doing?" Jimmy crawled after Kid who was starting his descent.

"We're losing time arguing. Now cover me!" Kid bit out harshly as he bellied his way down the rough wall, punctuated by jutting rocks. Jimmy scrambled to change his position and protect his friend from the gunfire below. Just when Jimmy thought he was about to ran out of bullets, Kid finally dropped down to a safe, covered position. Jimmy sighed in relief and was about to reload his guns when he noticed several raiders headed towards him. Without even thinking, Jimmy shoved his empty guns into his holsters and then hauled himself down the canyon. Not used to activities such as this, Jimmy rapidly slid down the ragged walls. As he tried to regain his footing, Jimmy's hands clumsily clutched at a jagged rocks and the sharp edge sliced the palm of his right hand deeply. Instinctively, Jimmy removed his hand from the offending rock and immediately lost his balance. Jimmy dropped shaken some fifteen feet, soft ground breaking his fall.

Meanwhile, Kid made his way through the smoke towards Jimmy. He had ran to the other side of the canyon after making a similar drop but now he retraced his steps to save his friend. Fortunately, Jimmy didn't need much saving. After a few wracking coughs, he regained his breath and vision. His hand automatically going for his guns, as he noticed a figure coming out of the smoke towards him.

"Jimmy," Kid called out, "follow me."

Dodging gunfire and fallen bodies, the two friends made their way behind a huge boulder. "How many are there?" Jimmy pulled out a handkerchief and wound it tightly to stench the flow of blood in his right hand and close the gaping wound.

"Five," Kid answered as he continued to exchange gunfire with the raiders. "Four," he counted again as he hit one of the men right between the eyes.

"I see you don't need me for a while," Jimmy commented. He was reloading his Navy colts.

"They're closing in." Kid dropped to Jimmy's side and rapidly reloaded his gun. Jimmy took Kid's place and began firing. Kid soon joined him and between the two of them, they were able to dispose three more raiders.

"Why can't the last one just die," Jimmy screamed in frustration as he dropped down once again to reload his bullets. "Didn't a bullet go through him?"

"Oh God, I'm out of ammunition," Kid whispered.

Jimmy whipped around to stare at Kid in disbelief. "What!?"

"I've run out of bullets. I think I have just two left," came the rapid response.

"Lucky for me," a deep voice drawled menacingly, as Jimmy felt the cold barrel of a gun against his temple.

*****

Kid's hand froze as his gaze traveled from the gun pointed at his friend's head, to the hand which held it then to the face of the man who has caught them. Kid stiffened. A million memories coursed through his brain. The sounds of gunfire faded, His whole consciousness focused on the voice he heard. It was huskier, fuller but it was the same rich baritone he knew as well as his own. Shifting his gaze from the man to the gun then back towards the man, Kid's eyes sought to confirm what his mind and his heart was telling him. Hard blue-gray eyes shone brightly against his tanned face. Kid found himself locking on those eyes.

"Cat got your tongue, boy?" the man asked, amused by his quarry's immobility. "You dared go up against the raiders and now that you are face to face with me all you can do is stare like a cornered rat. How disappointing." The voice was clipped with no trace of accent.

"Shoot him, Kid," Jimmy bit out harshly. His bravado earned him a hard knock at the back of the head and he slumped to the ground in pain. His captor didn't let go, though and continued to press the gun against him.

"Stand up," the man ordered Kid, at the same time pulling Jimmy to his feet. "You two are going to help me escape. As long as I have you, I'll be safe from your men." As the raider pushed Jimmy to walk, Kid remained rooted to his spot.

"You want me to kill you or your friend, boy? It won't matter which, I'll still have one of you. Now, move along."

Kid turned around and began to move forward. Just when he thought there was nowhere to go, the man directed him to turn left. Puzzled, he looked back and saw the raider motioning with his head. On closer look, what appeared like a seamless wall revealed a narrow opening.

"Just one of my many tricks," the man whispered maliciously, already savoring his escape. Kid stepped inside the cramped space, finding it even smaller than it looked. The walls were damp and smelled musty, the floor slippery. Kid fought to keep his balance and his sanity as he walked inside the dark, narrow cavern.

Is this why he was so afraid to go up against the raiders? Did he know in his heart what he was going to find?

Aloud, he asked, "Why do you do this?" He heard a snicker behind him.

"You want small talk at a time like this," the man said amusedly.

"You're going to kill us anyway," Jimmy said. "Why don't you humor a couple of dead men walking." He wondered if Kid had a plan and if this was part of it. He decided to go along.

"Sure," the man laughed softly. "What was the question? Oh yeah, why do I do this.... hmmm. Because it is very profitable."

"Profit?" Jimmy asked incredulously. "You make it sound like you're a businessman."

"Business of killing and stealing," Kid added, his voice almost breaking. "Is it profitable to kill innocent children?" The image of Pete, drenched in his own blood, eyes staring blindly filled Kid's mind.

"No, but at least I'm sure no one is going to come after me when they grow up."

Kid remained silent. He couldn't grasp the idea that this man... this man could be so evil. He looked up to see a tiny slash of bright light above him. They were near the top of the canyon.

"Do you have family?" he suddenly asked.

If he was taken back by the question, it wasn't noticeable. "Don't have no family," the raider answered matter-of-factly.

"No wife, no children?" Kid asked, his voice finally breaking at the last word. Behind him, Jimmy wondered where the questions were leading to.

"None," the man answered curtly. There was a slight hesitation before the answer, imperceptible except for those hoping to hear it. Kid wondered if he imagined the catch in the man's voice.

"No Elizabeth? No Jedidiah? No little boy named--"

A shot rang out drowning Kid's words. "Who the hell are you? Why do you know these names?" the raider shouted just as Kid stepped out into the sunlight.

Kid turned around and looked into the eyes of the man who ran out of him, his mother and his brother decades ago. "I think I'm your son."

CHAPTER TWELVE

For years he imagined what it would be like to see his father again. To meet with him face to face. Kid wondered how he would react. How his father would react. He thought about what they would say to each other. It broke his mother's heart but when he was a little boy, he would stand in front of the mirror and pretend that his father had returned home to them. He practiced what he would say. But no amount of rehearsals prepared him for this meeting. And never in his wildest fantasies did he imagine his father's response.

The raider dropped his gun from its position at the back of Jimmy's head, but before Kid could breathe a sigh of relief, the man pressed the gun to Jimmy's side and calmly pressed the trigger. "Then it's a pity I have to do this," the raider said, as both Jimmy and Kid shouted, one in pain, the other in horror. Jimmy clutched his side, his face ashen, his eyes blurred by the pain and confusion of the recent turn of events.

Kid watched in shock as Jimmy slumped on the stairs, the spot of blood on his jacket growing sickeningly large. He never knew what made him jump up and bolt from the stairs. Maybe it was the maniacal gleam in his father's eyes. But whatever it was saved his life.

The raider watched Jimmy for a while, admiring his handiwork before focusing on the man who claimed to be his son. Whether the young man was telling the truth or not was of no concern to him, not at this moment when his whole way of life is being destroyed. Calmly, he aimed his gun at Kid's heart. "Well, the it was nice meeting you but good-bye, son," he said before firing his gun once again.

Kid had already jumped clear of the cave's mouth but he was a scant second too late. He felt the warm gush of blood as the bullet went clean through his right shoulder. While Kid fumbled with his gun, the raider came out of the cave and aimed his gun at him again. Kid starred at the barrel of the gun with a mixture of dismay and disbelief. Oh hell, Lou, I should have just left it alone, he thought with a trace of hysterical laugh as he braced for the bullet that would end his life.

But it never came.

The raider's gun clicked. It was empty.

The man threw his gun away and smiled beguilingly at Kid, "You wouldn't dare shoot your old man, would you?" Without waiting for another word from Kid, he ran towards the bushes were some of the posse's horses were hidden. He mounted a huge black stallion which reared at the unfamiliar weight. But the raider quickly brought the horse under control and galloped away.

Kid gritted his teeth at the pain on his shoulder and struggled to follow the raider. He whistled for Katy who galloped obediently to him. He did a running mount and pursued the fleeing raider.

Where Kid got his talent for horses was apparent in the way the raider guided his unfamiliar mount around the tricky terrain. But despite years of hard ridings, he was still no match for Kid who has never forgotten the lessons he learned as a Pony Express rider.

The raider watched in desperation as he saw Kid gaining on him. He spurred his horse to ran faster but the tired stallion had no more to give. Kid caught up with the raider and they rode dangerously close to each other. They spied the ravine ahead of them at the same time. Kid jerked at Katy's reins to slow her down, but the raider, hoping to spur Katy into losing control, kicked his leg towards Kid's horse. Unconsciously, he jerked on his reins too hard sending his horse crashing down the deep gorge. Kid tried ineffectually to catch the reins.

Man and animal howled as they went down. Kid shuddered against it. He had never heard anything like those cries -- a mixture of rage and pain.

Then there was nothing.

*****

"Riders coming!"

Lou slowly stood up and straightened away from the calf she was feeding to watch as the approaching horses kicked up a cloud of dust at a distance. Her instinct told her to rush towards the riders and greet her husband, but a sudden intense fear kept her rooted to where she stood.

What if Kid didn't make it? she thought. What if they tell me he died? What if...

Lou felt someone nudge her from behind. She looked back and saw her foreman motioning at the riders with his head. Go, he mouthed silently.

In a daze, Lou staggered towards the men in horseback, slowly at first then with increasing speed until she was running flat out. She felt like her heart was bursting but she didn't care. "Kid!" she shouted. "Kid! Kid!" she repeated frantically when no one responded. Louisa, who was playing with Marylou on the porch, had also began running.

Two riders separated themselves from the pack.

Kid didn't even urge Katy to slow down when he picked up Lou from where she was standing, waiting for him. With one swoop of his left arm, he gathered Lou, hugging her, almost squeezing her and kissing her all at the same time. The scene was repeated as Cody embraced his wife.

"Forgive me?" he asked gently, as he wiped the tears from his wife's eyes.

Louisa looked at the man she vowed to love all her life. "How could I not?" she whispered as she clutched him tighter.

Teaspoon staggered down from the porch, his eyes desperately searching the faces of the men who thundered past him. He closed his eyes briefly in prayer as he spotted Buck driving the buckboard. Cold fear gripped his heart when he saw the Indian's worried look. Slowly, Teaspoon made his way towards the buckboard. Lying at the back was Jimmy, a bloody strip of cloth wrapped tightly around his torso. His face was chalky white with pain but he smiled when Teaspoon approached.

"Only the good die young," he managed to whisper.

Teaspoon shook his head and laughed softly. No other words were exchanged. None were needed. Their eyes said everything.

Forgive me, Jimmy's heart said.

I'm so sorry, Teaspoon replied silently.

*****

At sunset that day, the town of Sweetwater honored its fallen sons. The gunfight between the lawmen and the raiders ended in the death of all the criminals. As was the raiders' custom, those who felt they couldn't escape the hands of justice took their own lives.

Kid and Lou, Cody and Louisa, Buck, Teaspoon stood with the people of Sweetwater as the preacher recited prayers for the souls of the lawmen. Kid wanted to come clean and tell Mayor Jenkins and the town but Jimmy advised him to let sleeping dogs lie. The man was dead anyway, Jimmy said, he could do no harm anymore. Buck and Cody agreed. In the end, Kid only told Lou and Teaspoon.

*****

Kid sat on the trunk of a tree which at one time had been uprooted halfway and now grew almost parallel to the ground. It was his favorite thinking place. He discovered it when he first worked at the Pony Express and told no one about it... except Lou. It was HIS place and when he and Lou came back to Sweetwater, it became theirs. Kid remembered the nights he and Lou just sat here, in each other's embrace talking about their dreams, their future... their secrets. He never told her about his father, though. He never told anyone. Out of shame, out of guilt, who knows? Maybe at the back of his mind he had always known what happened to his father the night he left his family behind. Maybe he had known since that moment when hiding behind the bushes, he saw the leader of the raiders stop and stare at a wayward marble shining in the moonlight. Maybe he had known when he closed his eyes and waited for the death blow that never came. Maybe...

"Hey."

Kid started at the sound of the voice. He looked up to see his wife approaching him.

"You rode out bright and early, so I..." Lou began cheerfully though her eyes betrayed fear and worry. A stab of pain went through Kid's heart as he realized just how much distress he put his wife through.

"I'm fine, sweetheart. I just needed time to sort things out." Kid took Lou's hand and gently tugged. Lou understood and settled herself carefully in Kid's lap, deftly avoiding his bandaged side. For long minutes, they sat like that, lost in each other's thoughts. Then Lou turned around and spoke.

"Sam and Emma and their twins arrived just now. That's why I came to find you. And you haven't even seen Amanda who came in last night."

Kid didn't respond.

"Kid, he may have given you life, Kid, but he was never a father to you and Jed."

"Don't you think I know that?" Kid asked, despair rising in his voice. "But I can't help what I feel. HE WAS MY FATHER."

Lou stood up and cradled Kid's head on her bosom. She hated this helpless feeling but she didn't know what else to say.

"I'm so afraid, Lou. What if Jed did what he did because he got it from my father? What if I had more of him in me? What if I become like him?," Kid continued quickly, his voice a bit muffled. "I would die before I hurt you but what if I had bad blood in me?"

"Just like I have some in me?" Lou stepped back and asked softly. "Kid, my father, Boggs, was a criminal. A cruel, cruel man. Does that make me bad, too?"

"Of course not," Kid replied vehemently.

"Kid, we can't let who they were and what they did destroy us."

Kid nodded, though Lou knew the hurt hasn't fully eased. They have time, she thought. Time to understand. Time to heal. She held out her hand and Kid took it firmly between his larger ones. Lou was about to pull Kid's towards the house when her husband lifted her hand and placed a delicate kiss at the palm.

"I love you, Lou."

"I love you, Kid," Lou responded, kissing her husband fully on the lips. "Come, let's greet the family."

EPILOGUE

There was scurrying among the rocks and that was what woke him. Rats, he thought. Come to feast on my hide. The smell of death was around him and in him. He tried to turn on his side and he screamed in agony. Bone jutted from his shoulders and blood poured from it. Biting his lips, he tried to stand but found his legs useless. They were broken. Crawling, he managed to fight this way, inch by inch towards the soft grass, away from the horse's carcass.

I will not die, he told himself. I will not die.

I will have my revenge.

The End 


End file.
